Can anyone give me a funny Confucius Say...joke?

Confucius Say ......

- Women who do camping must beware of Evil intent

- Man who fart in church sit in own PEW.

- Man with hand in pocket all day not crazy, just feeling nuts.

- Girl who site's on jockeys lap, gets hot tip.

- Girl who sits on judges lap, gets honourable discharge.

- Man with tool in woman's mouth not necessarily dentist.

- It take many nail to build crib, only one screw to fill it.

- Man who stand on toilet, high on pot.

- Passionate kiss like spider web, soon lead to undoing of fly.

- Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.

- War not determine who right, war determine who left.

Confucius Say Jokes

Yes, because people think Confucius is a god

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RE:

Can anyone give me a funny Confucius Say...joke?

I have always thought these where so funny, maybe some I've never heard before.

Thanks

Confucius say, man who walk in airport door sideways is going to Bangkok.

Confucius say, man who go to sleep with sex on brain wakes up with hand in pants.

Confucius say, Man who sleep with itchy a$$ awake with smelly fingers.

Confucius say man who eat crackers in bed wake up feeling crummy.

Confucius say crowded elevator always smell different to a midget

Confucius say wise man never play leapfrog with a unicorn

Confucius say Man who fishes in other man's well often catches crabs.

Confucius say Man who stand on toilet, very high on pot

Confucius say He who laughs last must not get joke

Confucius say man who lives in glass house should change in basement

Confucius say Virginity like Bubble, one prick, all gone

Confucius say, Man who fart in church sits in own pew.

Man with hole in pocket feeling a little cocky Man with hand in another man's pocket not feeling himself today Man who go to bed with itchy butt wake up with stinky finger

A man with one watch knows exactly what time it is. A man with two watches is never sure.

Confucius Say it's better to be pissed off than pissed on

ok one day i went to the pub called the gods of beer

i saw ganesh and buddha

but was actualy

a fat retard on a elephant

I am not trying to burst your bubble, but Confucius is a false God, and as christians we are to stay away from stuff like that (and also fortune cookie messages, horoscopes, etc.)