why are custody laws so screwed ?

Sorry to hear. I had started studying law, and when I saw how dysfunctional our legal system is, as it is over whelmed with ever changing laws and to much litigation and always overloaded schedules, I switched back to Psychology.I feel for you especially if the kids are young, the system always favors mommy. I just witnessed this past year when my oldest stepson got so screwed by his pycho- x wife using the system. She got to act out and has ruined him where he is not far from where you stand. Plus he cannot see his kids as she lied and said he was abusive and with no history no records and plenty of evidence that we had to show, she is a mentally disturbed person, it did not matter. Mind you I was the guy always siding with the women and man have I seen it all now. Unbelievable. He was enslaved by her for 10 years she refused to work or send the kids to public school and made him work 2-3 jobs 7 days a week and give up his college.He was a good man and father and not some strung out addict or abuser. She was just a dominatrix in disguise gold digging ho. She controlled everything and abused him and I told him since she originally picked him (beware of fatal attraction) if she had, had any moral ethics she should have just gotten a sperm donor but then what is a sociopath to do with herself without a victim. I am sorry for you but his lawyer told us that the system did not and would not give a rat about him and where he lived or otherwise.This is where we need a men's liberation that we are more than just seed tossers to work and provide and to go to war to die, might as well be a machine for all that and not a human being. whew! good luck.

Pay your support as best you can. I know the laws are not fair, they are all bent in the womans favor because the courts would rather err on the side of caution. They have to assume that you do not know how to take care of a child while holding down a job. You will have to work twice as hard as her. Sorry bout that but here is what you might try.

Keep those payments going and do absolutly nothing to make the divorce harder on the children. Try to get the payments re-adjusted. There are several websites that have all kinds of information on how to survive. You are going to be fine buddy. Take the high road. YOur kids will grow up seeing all that you do indeed do to maintain thier health and wellbeing. It is bad enough they are stuck with a mother that has addiction issues. Try to be the ray of sunshine in their lives. Be nothing but sunshine when you are around them even if their mom is there. You do not want them to see the resentment. Then, when they grow up, they will see which parent truely cares. Do what is best for the children. Do your research. Don't be a pain to your brother. Find out how to get the payments reduced. Invest in your future. Go back to shcool. Keep notes, dates, and a log of everything you pay. Keep a log of all the things she does. When the time comes, you will be better prepared to make a case on getting the kids back. Make sure you have a place ready for them to move into. Make sure you are squared away morally, physically and emotionally. Have nothing she can use against you. Be very, very good. It is not fair, I know it, you know it and she knows it. Make sure she is taking good care of the kids. The kids are what are really important. If she is more interested in partying than taking care of the kids, then she will slip up soon enough and cut her own chances. Be patient and be good. Good luck.

It's not always true. My ex got the kid, 2 cars, the house, and the land in the woods. I got 1 car and my person stuff. I also got the credit cards in my name which were used to pay the down payment on the house he kept, his gun collection, and major car repairs on the cars he kept ($3000 each). I had to file bankruptcy. By the way, at least in my state, adultery has nothing to do with custody, that is what my lawyer told me. Drunk and high? That's a diffferent story, I would think that you would have come up with some sort of evidence to prove she was unfit.

The child custody and support laws are not one sided. I've seen many cases where the father has Primary Physical Custody and the mother has partial custody and pays support. Normally, however, if the child is of a "tender age" the father is the one that is working and the mother is not and therefore retains custody of the child and then the father is the one who has the job and pays the support for the child. Now that more women are working, the custody and support orders reflect this new demographic and your statement has no validity.

It goes both ways. I was divorced in 1985 and received $80.00 a wk in child support. My ex had a girlfriend that lived with him but when I did that I was taken to court by him for custody and I moved out of state. I lived out of state for over a year and then moved to another town. All I asked was for him to pick up and bring our son home once and then talk about arrangements of meeting half way. I was not a run around and my son came first in my life. I was threatened that if I didn't agree to allow my ex (this was from my attorney) have our son more in the summer and this went before a Judge (I also had to take my son out of school that day) I could lose custody. I agreed because there was no way I would take that chance. My ex did that to me out of spite and through all the different times of being taken back to court I always agreed to try and save my son from suffering. Unfortunately, he did in the long run to a point.

I looked (never found) to have a good honest attorney that would work for me and my son and the last one I had managed to get me $20.00 more a week (total $100) when my son was in hs to where I should have received $720.00 per wk. It's a long story but, I would try and find the most cunning attorney out there to work for you. That's what my ex had and it all worked for him. He was able to stop child support when our son turned 18 and he was still in high school. His theory, the boy is immancupated and should be able to live on his. I wish you the best on getting custody of your child. I couldn't bring myself to call the cops and have my ex arrested when he picked up or dropped our son off drunk. I knew I put my sons life in his hands but didn't want him marred by what he could have seen.

You, Sir, are a "straight, white, male", you have no rights in the eyes of the Court. You are being punished because the Courts have been infected with bleeding heart Liberal scum who hate US!

That, and your Lawyer is either an idiot, or "doing" your Ex, too!!

Edit: Buy lots of Vaseline, you're going to need it! Sorry that I can't help you more. My 1st screwed me over about as bad. My son's mom refused to marry me, then demanded "child support"!! As if my money was good enough, but I was not. She basically banned me from his life. I WANTED to be "the Dad", I was saddled with simply being "the father". All kinds of financial responsibility, but no love or "family".

Not sure where you live, but that's not always true. my husband got custody of his daughter and we have been happily raising her for 15 years..Get an attorney and fight..if you want the kid's, not just get out of paying child support...

The lawyer sucked.

If you would have just left the house with the kids, and filed for divorce and temporary custody... it would have been different.

Hire another attroney,

Hire a private eye, to follow her,

to the bar, drinking and driving home,

**and have the PI call 911 when she leaves to drive home drunk.

Because the far left feminists (note: this actually doesn't include all feminists) have usurped the legal system and convinced the lawmakers that all men are drunken rapists who beat and abuse their children.