Child stole $20 - Am I too strict -Should she be allowed to Trick-orTreat?

She should not be allowed to go trick-or-treating.

Stealing and lying, then going trick-or-treating would undo what you were trying to teach her, when you handed out sentences and grounded her for 30 days.

Since she tried to steal money from a grandparent only a week ago, this sounds like time for tough-love. Call your local Sheriff's department and ask if they have a "Tough-Love" program.

In this program, kids going bad are given a nice tour of the county jail, and get to see what life is like behind bars. They also get the message that if they continue, this is what they can expect.

You need to show your husband some of the comments you will receive from this question. He needs to realize that his "little girl" is a common thief. And, if she isn't stopped now, she will really get into trouble and be incarcerated.

Hold your ground, do not let this kid get what she wants.

Regardless of what WE think you and your husband need to be ON THE SAME page with this WITH your daughter. Since you imposed the discipline already HE should be supporting you in that even if he disagrees. Otherwise you are just showing her that she can avoid consequences and that you are not true to your word, that she can manipulate you thru him and that you don't mean what you say. Consistency is EVERYTHING with kids!

I think personally that it IS a big deal that she stole money from and her grandfather. JUST because she got caught makes it no less serious. She is at an age when she needs to learn choice & accountability for her actions, behavior & attitude. Personally the sentences thing was a bit too juvenile for her in my opinion but restricting her from EVERYTHING for 1-2 weeks is appropriate - a month is a bit excessive. BUT since she WANTS to go trick or treating so badly I would most definitely tell her NO. She can stay home and hand out candy though.....

The last thing she needs is getting HER WAY. Lightening up on the duration of the punishment would be acceptable though I.M.O. I'm a mom of 4 myself and we all learn thru trial and error. Having been thru 3 teens who are now 18, 19 and 21 and another 15 year old still at home to deal with I KNOW.... it's tough! BUT she will not DIE with the punishment you've imposed but I agree with Dad that the punishment needs to fit the crime. She needs to show some remorse and accountability. If there is no lesson learned and only resentment and anger then something needs to be altered to TEACH her thru this experience. COnsider other options without caving in.

Gee you sound like our court system. Punish (humiliation by publication) Punish (fines) Punish (prison time) Punish (felondy charge so you neve can work again). Not once, not twice, not three time but four times you are punishing her. Yet you are missing the most important question... why is she stealing.. $2.00 from granny and $20.00 bucks from you. What does she need the money for? This is the most important question which should lead you to why she thought stealing was the best way to get the money.

Your silly rule of 13 and no more Halloween is silly. Why have such a rule. Kids decide when they are too old to go trick or treating, not parents. Some kids stop begging for candy and beg for Unicef. Ask yourself why so many rules in your house... to keep your rag a muffins in control, to punish them and make them unhappy, just because that is the only way you know how to parent.

It is time for you and your husband to sit down and talk with the girl and listen to what she has to say. There seems to be issues here since you bring up the fact she is your step daughter.

Good Luck to you all.

Good for you! People tend to forget the concept of what halloween is...going house to house for candy. this is a privilegenot a right. Putting it into perspective you have a kid who is lying and stealing vs going trick or treating. Allowing them to go trick or treating is going to solve what???? Being the stepmom has nothing to do with it. I am in the same situation of being the stepmom but i hand out the punishments with 100% backing from his father. I think i would resent the comment from the writer who said you would not dish out the same harsh punishment if it were your own child...Hate to clue you in but yea i would. Dont feel bad about your decision, stand behind it.

I believe wholeheartedly that fibbing and stealing is the top two!

Don't get the dead fast rule No trick or treating past 6th grade I think that is a mature issue. if she did everything to the letter that your told her was punishment for the crime I would bend a bit of the treat or treating. I am a step-mom and mom and I realize all the ends and outs about bio-parenting and well step-parenting. We concluded that house rules are and if they rule wasn't up the parent of the child handles it.

Shoot! They are only a kid once. missed opportunities like holloween plays dances with scar for a lifetime. But I think you can get your message across without scars.

It was definitely wrong for her to do that but I think her punishment is good enough. She should be able to got trick-or-treating but let her know stealing money is a very serious no-no.

Stealing can lead to other more serious things.

It's really important she learns that it's never okay to do this.

In the Halloween case, I would keep her from going to prove how serious you are. If no other offenses occur in the next year, allow her the privilege of making up the holiday she lost next time.

It should reinforce that you are disappointed and angry over the theft and dishonesty, but make up for the loss and alleviate your husband's doubt.

When I was a child, the first and last time I stole... Well, lets just say I'll never forget it, and I'm very happy my mother taught me this.

since its her last year i think u should let her go and then come up with a different punishment like no computer or no cell phone instead. and why do u have a rule that she cant trick or treat after 6th grade?? k-my cousin is like 32 and hes going with my brothers and sister! its just candy.....

I think you would be justified in not letting her go. It is a good lesson for her to learn and she will always remember. On the same token she may rebel from you for doing this to her. The more a parent tries running the kids life the more the kid will want to break away from the parents.

I assume you are religious, maybe not (I am myself). But I think you are setting to strict of rules on your kids, who cares if they go trick or treating beyond the 6th grade? It is their choice. I think you should change your policy around, or you will find your kid becoming a law breaking maniac just to spite you.

I am glad to see there are parents out there that care about the kids and set guidelines, but you I believe are going overboard. Kids should run their own life, and you should guide them along the way. Silly rules like not allowing them to trick or treat past 6th grade is just plain thoughtless.

I'm with you on this one. I don't like lying or stealing especially from children who are old enough to know better. I think I would let her go because it is her last year but I would be very strict after and make sure things stay the same as you laid down.