How do I get out of an abusive marriage? I'm tired of being verbally and mentally abused and am miserable. ?

divorce him when hes least expecting it good luck

Was he this way before hand? Did you know what you were getting yourself into? If so, stop crying. Look, a lot of people make choices in life and then want a do over. You see it everyday. Yet we then turn and wonder why things are all goofed up or screwed up. You married the man for better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health. Did you not?

Yeah, it sucks and it is hard. But many people are dealing with the hardships of what they latched on to. Then they want to complain and give in and get a new life.

Lastly, I love this. You are basically admitting that you are using him. Well, if it is that bad, be a big girl and go do it yourself. I mean, gee. Plus, make sure you aren't the reason he is suffering all these things now. Sounds like you might be pretty selfish too. You may have caused a bit of this in him after 17 years. Ever think of that? You women will admit that you are basically using someone and then wonder why men think women are whores?

Yeah, I know, not what you wanted to hear or expected to have on here, right? Well, maybe if there were more posts like this on here, if would wake people up a bit. A lot of people on here need more truth and less appeasement.

The question is do you love him and are you willing to make your marriage work? You did not say he hits you or the cat. Just scrreams You say you are financially dependant on him, so I am assuming the bills are paid and you have a roof over your head? It seems he comes home and screaming and cursing because he is hurt inside. Maybe life didn't turn out as he dreamed. Maybe age is hitting him hard. Are his looks or his body the same? You say he is depressed, have you told him you love him lately? Have you taken any steps to sit down with him and just askhim to let out how he feels? Maybe he needs to cry and we know how men are, and he is holding it in so it comes out angry? At one time the two of you were in love, so I am sure there is still something to work on. BUT if he is really just being an a$$ and a MF to you, you need to leave immediately. Contact an attorney (most offer free consultations) and/or family members close friends and tell them what is going on. If you have no one at all, speak with your local hospital and they will give you information on what to do.

1. If you have enough money to open a post office box (it doesn't cost much for a small one), open one ASAP and start having your own personal mail forwarded there.

2. If you have any other money, open your own checking or savings account. (It shouldn't cost much to open a checking account- $50 or $100 maybe?) DO NOT list your home address anywhere on the paperwork for that account. List the Post Office box on that account. If you list your home address, your husband will see your bank statements, and he'll want to know why you have a checking account without his name on it. If the bank doesn't give you the option to list your home address, then I suppose you would need to speak with the bank manager and get their suggestion. (You could tell them you will be moving soon.)

3. If you have the money, purchase a cellular telephone. Again, do not list the home address - list your PO box number - he will not have that information. This is important not only to your physical safety, but also to the next steps.

4. Find your birth certificate, social security card, health insurance card, driver's license or state ID, auto insurance card, and any other important paperwork you need to establish your life elsewhere. Make photocopies in case the originals get lost. Keep the originals and the copies in ziplock bags so they will repel water and other moisture. Also be sure to photocopy your bank account papers and place them in ziploc bags.

5. Pack the above important documents along with the other things that you consider to be important for survival - medication, tampons, toothbrush/toothpaste, some clothing, snacks, and any money you have. Take your cell phone also. If you have no friends or family that you can confide in about this situation, then call your local women's shelter or YWCA. Take your survival bag with you, and start your new life.

6. Begin applying for jobs and remember that you have the PO Box address as your permanent address.

7. If you have no post-high school education, it is especially important to take advantage of any career development training available- foreign language classes, technology classes, anything to help you learn a new skill to advance your job skills.

8. Your town should have a Legal Aid or something similar to offer discounted or free legal services to help you obtain a divorce.

Whose depressed? Get a job and get out of the house. You could probably do this in about 2 weeks time. When you get that pay check, get out. If you want to be more safe, get 2 checks and move out, but don't put up with this anymore.

sweetie i would say u stayed way to long, i would just leave right now, there is no better time, just get up and go, send the divorce papers through the mail, get a restraining order on him, and saty with family, if u stay longer u will never leave!! and besides he knows he has control over u maybe if u left he would get help and then come get u back, if not just let him go, there is only so much u can take!!

good luck!

Get yourself a plan and if you can't afford to leave right now, then find a job and work toward that goal. Abuse is wrong so if your afraid of him go to the police and ask what you can do to be free and safe from him.

its not worth the money. go to the police, seek councilling, go to a woman's shelter, seek help from friends. pack your bags and leave today. you are not going to will the lottery. there is always a reason for the time 'not to be right', so just get up and go. now is as good a time as any. you'll be glad when its finally done.

Start divorce proceedings and leave before your lawyer lets him know. You can go to a women's shelter, and see the CAB for free expert advice.

Leave the monster.You only have one life. Live it. Good luck.

Please seek help. It's SO tough (my mum was abused by my step father), but go to the Citizen's Advice Bureau and they'll be able to help on everything from accommodation to schools (if you have kids), to money... Once you've decided, stick to it, but after the first few days of shock, you'll be glad you made the bold move.

Believe in yourself.