How has living without your significant other affected your life in positive and negative ways or any way?

My husband died when we were 52 years old. We had been together for exactly half of our lives. Since then there have been many changes in the way I live. I spend more time with my friends now and have joined a couple of social groups. Time at home is frequently lonely, so going out with friends helps. At the same time, there are people who are no longer a part of my life because they were interested in us as a couple and not necessarily me as an individual.

I'm much less interested in housekeeping and cooking now-- just don't have the motivation that I once did. On the other hand, I choose items for my home that I love instead of compromising and getting something that's not quite my style or taste.

I've found that I really don't have a schedule anymore. Before, we had a regular dinnertime and did certain things every weekend. Now I find that I just do things when I feel like it instead of being governed by the clock or the calendar.

As far as travel is concerned, during my married life we took a wonderful, relaxing beach vacation every year and went to family-oriented places like Disney World. Now the prospect of that beach house seems so lonely, so I choose to go to big cities like New York to be surrounded by hustle and bustle and excitement.

It's scary handling the finances by myself, especially the way the economy is, but I have learned a lot and have hooked up with a couple of professionals who have taught me a lot and who help me manage what I still have. I was "taken" a couple of times by unscrupulous contractors, but I learned my lessons quickly and feel that I know how to avoid this in the future.

As you can see, there are ups and there are downs. It's an ongoing learning process. At some point, I realized that life is what it is, and I had to learn to deal with my loss. I think I've done OK.

Since July I find it hard to get motivated and act on a new plan for my life. My place is up for sale and until I can rid myself of it I can't carry out any plan.

I am like another on here and after 20 years its good to have the person gone.

In many ways , since we did not live in the same state for over 3 years, it is not an adjustment of being a single person but just being able to really start a new life.

His death was just of someone I used to know , not a real partner.

Still there are adjustments. The gate is now open but I'm not sure where I want to go.

Thanks for asking the question.

Lona

I lived with a bully for 23 years and it was hell. I was a doormat and took most of what he dished even though I would talk and talk to him until I was blue, he never changed. Wish I had left him after my last child was born but didn't have job skills.

I live alone and love it and am no longer a doormat to anyone. Life is too short to live like that. The only negative at first was with money, but now I take care of myself fine.

I just lost my soul mate in July. I will tell you the truth. I don't want to be here. A few days after the service I woke up one morning and before I even opened my eyes I said to myself ''I don't want to do this. I don't want to live without him'' I got up and immediately went to the phone and called my doctor. She got me into grief counseling the next day. I am still fighting that feeling. I have two sons and a granddaughter who love and need me. I have a mom and a dad that have already lost one child in an accident. I don't need to hurt those that I love. But I am here only for them. If it were not for them I would already be gone.

I was married 2 times before I found my sweet man. I was in my late 40's when I found him. We only had 5 yrs together. He was and is the most wonderful man I have ever known. He was loved by everyone who met him.

I was married to the partner from hell for over 20 years. I finally managed to break free and lived on my own in peace and quiet for the next few years, but now I'm seeing a great man, kind, gentle and everything my husband wasn't. I still have the scars from my marriage and won't live with Highlander full time, I keep my own home too. So yes it has affected me and badly as I'm finding it real hard to put my full trust in another man, which hurts him.

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I miss him more than I can express every day. Now after a year and a half, I can enjoy living, but I will never again have the joy I did with him.

WELL.... LET'S SEE NOW....

When my first wife died (from complications of

BREAST CANCER) at the age of 32.... I gotta tell

ya.... I just about TOTALLY "LOST-IT".... took me

a very long time to get over that "LOSS."

Since then, I've been married (and divorced) FOUR

TIMES.

My current girlfriend/partner and I have been together

since 1997. We were "high school sweethearts" back

in the 1950's, but each went our "separate ways" until

we were re-united in 1997.... guess "true love" never dies.

I find that going places are harder to do, because it is always more fun when you have someone to enjoy it. When you go out to eat especially, I like conversation, and if you talk to yourself, you get funny looks.