Was I rejected or is this a hard to get adventure?

Question

I can't tell whether or not this girl I'm interested in is playing hard to get, or if she isn't interested. 

Pertinent Details:
-Met in college class
-Roughly a week ago, she started giving me practically every known sign (body language) of being attracted to me: staring at me, continuously glancing at me, smiling, body oriented toward me when sitting next to one another, stroke of her neck to look more attractive, playing with her hair (combined w/neck deal), etc. 

I started talking to her shortly thereafter. I took it slow. Roughly a week after first initiating contact, I gave her a short note in person, she read and responded as I sat next to her. I stated: "I like you as more than a friend. I am interested in you. I'd like for us to get to know one another. How do you feel? " I wasn't asking her out, just making my stance clear so she wouldn't falsely think I'm not interested, and hoping to ascertain whether or not she felt the same. 

I am terrible at the courting process most of the time (except online,I'm rather shy), but excel once its over with; so, that short & to the point note was a very very bold move for me.

Her response (paraphrased): "I am actually talking to someone now, just got out a long term relationship. But, we can DEFINITELY be FRIENDS + get to know one another. Look me up online." She also gave me her phone number, I didn't ask for it. 

Before I gave her the note, she mentioned to me she had looked me up online. 

I didn't bother to look her up online after she requested I do so in her response to my note. Instead, she looked me up and formally added me herself later that night. Goes to show she must have been thinking of me (and not to mention the fact she had looked me up before knowing for sure I was interested in her). 

The negative indicators were obviously the "friend" and "talking to someone else" thing. Do pay attention to the wording with the "friend" comment, I tend to think it matters as it wasn't as firm/harsh as I've heard before, and the whole just got out of long-term relationship. Aside from that, I've only noticed signs of interest. She still looks @ me rather frequently. I can tell she's looking @ me in the corner of her eye pretty often. 

Today, as a test, I withdrew a good bit. I didn't pay much attention to her, etc. This could go either way, especially IF this guy is the "talking to guy": she was more "lively" than normal, drawing attention to herself in form of talking/playing around with this other guy in my class (perhaps trying to get me jealous?) I am playing it cool right now. I'm not going to throw myself all over her. I hate these games, if that's what this is; of course, I hate rejection as well, but I'd rather know if I'm LIKELY in a hard to get chase fiesta or more likely was rejected in a romantic sense. 

I'd like to understand why she would go on her own w/the online lookup and later online pursuit; why give her phone number off the bat, why give me all the body language signs she's interested (and yes, they were definitely directed toward me), etc if she isn't really interested. I want to know if it sounds like there is a decent chance she is interested in me? I'm sure the long term relationship ending will make her more cautious/hesitant. 

Please consider all the details. Please give me an honest and respectful answer. I am very appreciative of any meaningful replies. I know you all don't know with certainty, but once again, you all are in a better position than me considering you're not directly involved. Thank you very much. Take care.

FlashOfBlade(Dime Bros) · Accepted Answer

She doesn't really sound like she is all that interested in you. From the words she used, "...we can definitely be friends..". That implies that she isn't really interested in you. Sorry to say but it does sound like the body language and everything else was directed at someone else, or why else would she mention that she is talking to someone else right now. It really sounds like a really nice way of rejecting someone. Now that I'm kind of involved in this, but barely I feel sorry for you, because there are all kinds of signs that show that she is sort of interested in you, and other sings that show complete ignorance towards you. Consequently, I would say that she is just trying to keep her options open and try to look at every guy who shows interest in her and then find out who is the best fit. Of course she is going to be really scared to get into another relationship after a long lasting relationship ended.

That's my best explanation. Good luck dude, I hate playing games as well, so I really understand where you're coming from when you said that you really don't like to be in these kinds of situations.

As for the fact that she took the time to look you up on the internet, it could just pertain to the fact that she is really trying to research everyone she meets, and see who she will like based on everything she finds out. 

Try not to get involved as much, because one day she might just cut you off seeing how some other guy out there fits her better than you do.

The 3rd Nipple · Answer

Dude, you have to know how to attract women.  And I haven't seen you do one thing that says to a woman, "I am a man.  You are part of my reality.  I don't need you, but I will give you a chance to get to know me.  I am cooler than you."
Nothing you have done to this woman has been a challenge to her.  If anything, you came off as just another needy wuss boy.  That note was a bad idea.  Why tell a woman you're interested in her and want to get to know her?  Of course you were going to get rejected and thrown into the friends zone because you didn't do anything remotely to being "a man" to her.  A challenge.  Arrogant and funny.

So I'm willing to put my life's saving on the line here and say you don't have a chance with this woman.  You blew it when you gave her that note.  All these signs and trying to reasons why she looked you up online do not matter.  That's you projecting your own feelings into her actions.

What you need to do is learn to attract women.  So I would look up the two sources I've provided and get on their mailing lists.  Read their stuff and learn what has made guys successful (including me) with women.  Or you can just ignore me and continue to try and figure out a woman's actions that don't mean squat.

Anonymous · Answer

Hey, me again. Forget the body language, and I think your note had far to much info. Next time ask her to go to lunch or for coffee. As you stated, she just got out of one relationship and is no doubt not ready for another any time soon. Some of the best and longest relationships start out as the best of friends.

Erika · Answer

It occurs generally. It turns out that once it occurs speedily, the woman is simply an awareness wh*** making an attempt to thread the fellow alongside, and isn't inquisitive about a truly dating with him. When it has occurred to me years later, the ladies have gave the impression extra definitely interested and kicking themselves for lacking out. I would not have ample knowledge to supply a reputable property of the frequency, as I have no longer been ready to notice ample ladies after the preliminary rejection.

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Was I rejected or is this a hard to get adventure?

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