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What do you think of this short poem?
This is my first one.
I lost the book of answers,
it flew away from sight,
i realised when I chased it,
that my search was not quite right,
I jumped off the rainbow bridge,
waking to my room,
all the book of answers was,
my imagination,
i assume.
The fourth line looks a little choppy to me, but i dont read poetry so i really dont know. Constructive criticism please.
5 Answers
- Anonymous1 decade ago
instead of "that my search was not quite right"...make it like "that it was nothing I could find." It makes more sense. and take off the "was" in
"all the book of answers"...it makes more sense too...or change "was" to "were"
**actually** change it to "were" but make it
all the book of answers,
were my imagination,
I assume.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
not that I'm an expert in poetry AT ALL , but in my opinion I think its quite good
- Anonymous1 decade ago
and at the dawning of the new day.
the flowers budded and the cocks did crow,
the shimmering dew of a fresh dawn break,
the clock ticked.
but the earth didn't shake.
from her slumber she doth rose.
to take a shower and reclaim her repose
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- Anonymous1 decade ago
yeah i like it ;)