How do i get my wife to understand a misunderstanding with out causing a fight?

Your wife knows you better than any one of us. If she doesn't' want to talk to you she must have a darn good reason. Maybe one of them is that you are so clueless about how to communicate in your marriage that the only option that you can come up with is to ask strangers about how its done. That isn't going to cut it with her. I don't know what it is that you did but most of the time the sum total of your entire relationship is more important that an apology and plea for forgiveness. Stop trying to find magic formulas to get back into her good graces and just be genuine. Trying to figure out something to do to make her change her mind is just going to make you sound, well....demanding and unloving.

Give her some time to get over it. She might understand now but still just be upset. Make sure to do some romantic things for her. Bring home flowers, suggest watching a movie she enjoys together. Whatever ways you know are good to remind her you love her. Overall though just give her some time to get over it.

Umm try talking to her face to face instead of writing letters... You and her are acting like teenagers instead of adults.

well like r. kelly said when a woman's fed up (no matter how you beg) it ain't nothing you can do bout it ....

sorry if after all you've done and she's through... it's a done deal...

Pray. Your wife is still hurting and she see you as the enemy. God will help you and praying for her will help her.