Does anyone have an alternative to a unity candle at a wedding ceremony?

I am getting married in 11 days and this is what we are doing:

Box, Wine & Love Letter Ceremony"

While there are so many traditions that a couple can incorporate into their

wedding vows, such as the Unity Candle, The Rose Exchange, and many more, there is one special idea that I have recently learned about from my dear friend, Richard (Thanks Rich!) who attended a wedding in Holland. While he was not sure if it was a Dutch tradition, he found it to be extremely touching. When he returned to the states, he could not wait to share this with me. Basically the JP or officiant asks the couple getting married to find a strong wooden box that will hold two bottles of wine and two wine glasses. The couple is then asked to each write a letter to one another, expressing their thoughts about the good qualities that they found in their future partner and their reasons for falling in love with each other. Under no condition can they read each other’s letter. They are to seal them and put them in the box with the wine and glasses. Upon finalizing the wedding ceremony, the officiant will announce to the guests that he / she had asked the couple to write letters to each other and put them in the box with the wine and glasses. The officiant will explain that should the couple ever find their marriage in serious trouble, before making any irrational

decisions, they must open the box, drink wine together, and read the letter that they wrote to one another to reflect on why they fell in love with each other in the first place. The hope is that there will never be a reason to have to open the box, unless of course, it is for a 25 year anniversary! At the wedding in Holland, members of the wedding party were handed nails to hammer (which I dress up with a white ribbon and bow) the box shut. However, as an alternative, I suggest that it be the couple to each take a nail and hammer the box shut (with two pre-drilled holes to make it easier to hammer), if only to add that special touchinto their wedding vows. This is only a suggestion, but I just think that it makes the ceremony extra special for the couple.

Truthfully, I find this to be the most romantic (and coolest!) addition to

incorporate into a marriage ceremony. Not that my husband and I needed to do this (well o.k., maybe sometimes!), but I wish that we had. It would have been fun opening it up on our 25th Anniversary!

The Officiant would say the following:

"Alexis & Travis, I have asked you as a couple, to find a strong wooden box that will hold two bottles of wine, and two wine glasses. In addition, I have asked each of you to write a letter to one another, expressing your thoughts about the good qualities that you have found in your future partner, as well as, your reasons for falling in love with each other. I requested that under no condition were you to read each other’s letter, and that you were to seal them in individual envelopes and put them in the box with the wine and glasses."

"Alexis & Travis, should you ever find your marriage enduring serious

difficulties, I am asking that before you make any irrational decisions, that you both, as a couple, open the box, drink some wine together, and then venture off into separates rooms to read the letters that you wrote to one another when you were united as a couple. By reading these love letters, you will reflect upon the reasons that you fell in love with each other in the first place. The hope here is, that there will never be a reason for you to open this box, unless of course, it is for your 25 year anniversary!"

"Alexis & Travis, I now ask that each of you take a nail, one at a time, and hammer the box shut."

It seems everyone said sand ceremony so I will add , water or wine ceremony. Use 2 different food coloring in water when mixed you will have a new color. Or use red and white wine. You would each take a sip of each, and then pour them together. Another is the handfasting. I have seen all of the above used.

Friends of mine did something similar to the colored sand ceremony, only using colored water. They each poured a glass of dyed water into a large vase of clear water. They used yellow & red, so the water turned orange. The officiant (a Unitarian Universalist minister) gave a little introduction about the significance of two colors coming together to create something new, etc.

We all thought it was a really cool idea (though I recommend using stronger colors, like blue & red).

I like the sand ceremony as others have mentioned. That is what I will be doing for my ceremony, which fits because we are getting married on a yacht.

I've heard of the sand ceremony and also the colored rock ceremony.

My friend did a unity knot. they took 2 pieces of rope and tied them together instead of a unity candle

there's the sand ceremony where you pour two different colored sands into the one container, a tying the knot ceremony. we are doing a butterfly release for our special touch

there is a hand ceremony somewhere. nothing to buy, nothing to set up, nothing to make sure is there and ready.

another one. you can get a bunch of rocks and give them to your guest. have them all make a wish for you and throw them in the lake.

im having a butterfly release, It means to a new beginning.

colored sand in a clear container

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