The Military and my in-laws..HELP!?

that sounds EXACTLY like my mother in law. she treated my husband like a 5 year old up until we finally moved in together and 10 hours away from her. she used to open all our mail from the military when it was being sent there. of course i didnt know about it until i went over to the house and found opened mail addressed to ME from like weeks before. and realized she had been doing it for a while..i assumed it was my husband opening it and bringing it to my house. he was so attached to her that he didnt say a word to me about her reading my mail. needless to say that was the end of that and i told the b*tch where to go. im sorry, but its crossing the line and no matter how nice youre supposed to be theres only so far it can go. you need to break him out of that habit of being the baby and show her you mean business. dont take that from her because she doesnt have a say in it anymore and she needs to get over it..and by that last comment he made it sounds like shes been trying to call too i wouldnt put it past her by the sound of it lol. good luck girl email me if you wana chat i know exactly what ur goin thru!

Well, it wont' go over with warm fuzzies or anything, but I'd be inclined to call her up and ask point-blank why she would lie to you like that. Might as well call a spade a spade and bring it all out into the open. That way she'll at least know you are onto her. I'm with you on everything except the letters/pushup thing. I'm sure he does plenty of pushups, so I wouldn't make him work so hard to get as much encouragement from you as he can get in one envelope. Remember, you are his cheerleader. That's not the same as the babying his mom's doing.

I feel you...I have the same issues with my husbands mother and I don't really have any good answers except she is never going to back off until he tells her to. You might be the mother of her grandchild but your opinion really means jack. She needs to hear from her son that you are his wife and he has his own family to think of now. I know that is not much help. Just thought you would like to know you are not the only one with in-law issues. Congratulations on the new baby!

omg. you are not overreacting at all. i would be so maddd. infuriated! she does need to stop babying him but you cant change anyone but yourself and of course you dont want to hear that buuuut you could try to show your husband you WANT his moms respect and love by giving her occasional phone calls just to let her know how her grandbaby is doing and maybe tell her you want to visit with the baby. you may not necessarily WANT to, but if you make more effort to like her and get along with her she may come around and stop being so jealous that another woman has her baby's heart. on the flip side, if she doesnt come around and change her ways a little, you WILL have earned more respect from your husband because he will know that you are trying, -and dont give up- and he will appreciate that. especially knowing the last thing your hubby needs is to hear about his family feuding. Your husband is your husband, Her son is her son. but her son has grown up and started his own life. with you his beautiful wife and baby on the way. He loves his mom dearly and while you may not so much be happy with her, it might be hurting his feelings somewhat if he hears any negativity about his mom from his wife. you may not be saying anything bad about her so im not saying that, its just a keep-in-minder... so i think you should have the address changed. call DEERS and make a few changes. and continue being a devoted military wife. keep her in your heart that she is part of your family and your baby's grandmother. unless you and your husband separate you will always have her there somewhere. she might come in help when you truly need her. so keep your head up and pray that she comes around and in the meantime just keep being nice, saying lovely things about her and being lovely to your husband and let her know simply, you love her. she is probably very proud of a baby being on the way.

oh and the last phrase that was said, the military doesnt wanna hear about boo hooing mommys who dont want their babies to go through anything without dear mommy knowing about it. a wife, with or without child, is number one to the military.

If he gets a call from his mom the rest of the trainees would never let him live it down. I don't think you're over reacting. Wish I had advice to offer though. Hope I'm a good mom-in-law when the time comes :)

IF your mail came by the U.S. postal service, and was addressed to you, (even at her address); you could report her to the postal inspectors for opening your mail.

THAT is a FEDERAL offense!!

All she could LEGALLY do was: A. return it or B. forward it to you.

While it MIGHT create "family problems", it COULD get her off your back for a while, like maybe 10 years or so!

Your mother in law sounds a lot like mine. Good Luck! Thats all i can say. I'm still struggling and we have had it out a few times.

Sounds like a personal problem. Your mother in law seems pretty deceiving.