What should I do about CHILD SUPPORT?

Question

I am a 19 year old college sophmore. My parents have been divorced since I was three. My father cheated on my mother. My mother being the lady that she is was nice enough not to tell the courts why exactly they were getting divorced, so my father was able to stay in the Navy. He is now a Cpt. in the Navy and also has a job with Boeing.  He makes at least $100,000 a year (this is also proven from the papers he had to fill out for my FAFSA application my freshman year).  He sends my mom $900 a month, $540 goes to her house note and the other $360 goes to "child suppport" for my 16 year old sister and me.  My mom has been paying for the two of us since I was 3.  This includes: food, clothes, church trips, formal dresses, presents for my dad for christmas and birthday, presents for friends, gas, etc.. I reasearched Mississippi's child support laws, and for 2 children you are required to send 20% of your income, meaning my dad should send AT LEAST $20,000 a year just for child support, and right now we are getting $4800.  Neither of my parents are remarried, which mean my mom has no help and my dad has nobody else to support.  I have had 2-3 jobs ever since I was a junior in high school, but with rent and groceries and gas and school, I can not keep up anymore.  My mom has helped me tremendously, but my Dad just says that I should take the $360 that he sends for "child support" monthly.  This would mean my sister gets nothing and my mom gets no more help.  We have given him spreadsheets trying to show how much it costs to raise two daughters and it's like he has no concept, and still does not want to help.  It is hurting my feelings.  My dad would rather me take out loans and go in debt than help me. I'm not really sure what to do. any advice would be great. thanks
-a.

Sassie · Accepted Answer

Your mom could attempt to take him back to court. The US courts don't care if he cheated or not. You still deserve a certain amount. It will make him mad, but oh well. Every man thinks he's paying so much, but if you were living under the same roof, he'd be paying a whole lot more to support you.

Anonymous · Answer

You're 19...if you don't like/love your dad, then leave him be. I had to pay for my own college education and my parents are divorced. I don't have kids yet, but I do understand where you are coming from, but on the second hand I just can't understand why people are so worried about how much money they can get. He is working two jobs so he can make his life better. If you tried to get 20%, then he would probably quit working his job at boeing. Pretend your dad only makes 24k and be thankful that your dad is actually paying any child support. There are so many losers out there that don't pay. Learn from these experiences and I guarantee that you will be better off in the future. It will make you think twice about having children and getting a divorce. You never know...you may have kids...get a divorce...hubby takes them...now your paying.

mortonvalley · Answer

Sometimes you just have to accept that you were dealt a crummy hand in the dad department.   He is what he is and there is probably no changing his spending habits at this stage of his life.   His lifestyle has taken precedence over your educational plans.   Now as an adult you get to choose how to respond to his parenting ( or lack thereof) over the years.    Would my feelings be hurt?  Probably.      Are bad feelings over the money worth losing a parental relationship?   Only you can answer that.     Good luck.      If you don't get money from him to help pay for college will you still find a way to get your education?     Is he still getting "the blame" for a misdeed 15 to 20 years ago?    Do you want him in your life?

sxycaramel · Answer

Congratulations on being the adult through all of this!  I think your mother has gone all these years without asking for help and feels she doesn't need him although she does.  Its her pride and maybe what keeps her strong.  On the other hand, you guys are struggling.  It doens't sound like you've grown up having a close relationship with your father, so you may be unwilling to really let him have it!  I things are a little different with alimony and spousal support when the wife marries, so maybe this is why she doesn't want to "rock the boat" because she able to get money for her mortgage and she's married.  Does your mom's current husband help with the mortgage?  You are older now and may have to just fight your own battles.  If you have given your dad spreadsheets and he still doesn't want to give any money, then its up to you to decide what steps you want to take next if you really want money from him.  Its a hard decision, but do what you feel comfortable with.

Taunieboo · Answer

Your 19 your an adult. My best advice is to get 1 high paying job and take life as a challenge and LIVE it. =))

Anonymous · Answer

get over it.  child support is for the mom not the child.  you are 19, get a job,

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What should I do about CHILD SUPPORT?

6 Answers