My new piece - what are your thoughts?

This poem is very descriptive and straight forward to the spot. I like the twist at the end, namely the last word, which change the whole previously made image ( of two wrestlers for example). The description was very precise, bringing the reader directly to the scene as one of the two characters ( husband or wife).

The wording scheme here is a lot better than a previous (dark) poem of yours, which was about death and grave..

Well penned!

I don't get it at all. Who did what to whom? A bit contrived to get the rhyming lines and too melodramatic for me. Is it a murder a rape or a mercy killing? Some punctuation would also give it more impact.The tenses a bit mixed up as well. "Eyes locked in fear and near an end" Sorry, it doesn't do anything for me at all. Well, you did ask.

It's really good. =]

I wouldn't mind seeing more of your poems

though it's (as I read it) about something cruel, it was descriptive and created an image.

A+

=D

you know.. i know this sound like everyone else.. but i seeriously got a picture.. but i pictured more bruises :// very well done.

wow

i wish i could write like you

a "Romeo & Juliet" ring to it. sad, but real...quite good

ok so he/she fucked her up then she/he fucked him up and since she/he struck back hes scared. i like it alot of detail i like i like now check me out plz

"a look of sorrow"

really very nice