Does anyone have fictionpress? Can you review my story?

In reading what you've written, I'm wondering if English is not your native language. I'm guessing that you are Japanese. Is that true? The reason for my asking is that you write in a style which is not what I'd call "American"; you seem not exactly familiar with the language , and your schools and characters have Japanese-sounding names. Your story, however, is punctuated properly, especially the dialogue. One problem I noted is your tendency to change tenses from present to past; you should generally select one tense or the other and use it exclusively -- preferably past tense as it is usually easier to write and to read. I think that you haven't written enough for me to be able to tell whether you are imagining an intriguing story. My advice to you then is (if you have your plot thoroughly planned) just continue to write what you have in mind. It may never be published, but, if writing is your passion, you will find satisfaction in having completed your novel, plus you will gain valuable practice. When you've finished, you might have what you've written critiqued by an objective and qualified person to learn whether you've created a marketable product. Good luck!

I have an account but it wouldn't let me on. You know that if you sign off, find your story, and copy and paste the web address that anyone can review it, rather than just those with an account....

your link doesnt work...