overbearing mother... am i being mean?

Stop being a bratty child for one. Your mother depends on you and all that you can do is complain. You are a terrible person.

It's hard letting go of your children, you feel like part of your heart is ripping out a you watch them leave. Even when they're 50 you still want to kiss their hurts and solve their problems for them.

This said, the child is not responsible for their parents happiness just as they should never feel guilty of the care they have been given growing up. Your Mother chose to make you her life, and now hard as it is she has to learn to let go. Maybe you could help her by finding a group or hobby that you can do together with other people, this way she will still be getting a regular Mother and Daughter time but she will also get the chance to meet other people and hopefully make friendships. Before you know it you might have to bug her to spend some time with you!

Lady13

I understand that you need a little space of your own, and that's normal. But I don't think your mom deserves to be cut off. Setting limits with a parent can be difficult, but as an adult, that is what you will have to do. Be kind, make yourself available when you can, and let her know if it's not a convenient time. But also think about this: How would you feel if your mother was completely out of your life? You only get one mother, and when she's gone, that's it. Appreciate her and let her know it, but also let her know of your needs as well...she might be more understanding than you think. If you're finding great difficulty in reaching individuation from your mom, counseling can help you attain that goal.

First off be lucky you even have a mom that does this yea I know it can be hard at times but how many people can say this about there moms. Im 21 and talk with my mom almost everyday I wouldn't have it any other way. Be happy shes here cause when shes gone you will miss it the moments.

It WILL NOT get any better. Maybe you should reevaluate your relationship. After all, your fiance is letting all of this happen. I say cut your loses and move on with your life and end the relationship. Basically, he let his mom steal from you and disrespect you. Ending the relationship now may save you a lot of heartache later. I am sorry to give such depressing advice. But, it is really the way I see it. If he is 38 and never been married you are probably just competition and she is going to find whatever way to knock you down. I say end it and if your fiance goes out of his way to find out how to fix your relationsip. Maybe this is why he is 38 and single. A true monster-in-law.

Well, she is pretty lonely and I understand how you feel. I think maybe the best thing to do might be to go w/ her to some social circle (maybe even church) a few times, then spin her off into some friends there. Remember as you get older that it becomes harder to make friends, it takes so much trust to let someone into your personal space.

I get you, though, my mom likes to butt in a little bit too.

Maybe she needs a makeover. Maybe you could give her one, or go to the spa with her. Look for an apartment of your own, sort of out of the way where you can see each other all you want but, it would be a hassle for her to go over your house everyday. Maybe you can get her to be friends with your boyfriends Mom.