This is the worst scenario ever.?

He is not beyond redemption. He can still be an accountant, but he needs to pack in his thieving.

You ask about how he is coming home with money - it doesn't have to be drugs-related, however it sounds to me like he is stealing. If his friends have been arrested for burglary, then I rather suspect that your son is committing burglaries as well.

If he is "top dog", then he is the one leading the pack, rather than being led. It is also the most serious problem that you have with him, because this will be very difficult to address.

My advice would be contact the local police station and ask if you can have a sit-down with the local beat team about his behaviour. I suspect that you don't know the half of it, and they may be able to fill you in on the blank spaces. He may be being stop-checked at every turn, but he won't be telling you this. It may also be that they have intelligence on what he is up to, and where all that money is coming from - in which case, you either tell them that he has all this money, or you say nothing and see if they tell you about it.

I realise that you and his mum have to work hard, but you also need to try and strike a balance because at the moment he is running rings around you both. It's time to turn the tables and focus on him a little more than you are able to now.

This is not intended to be criticism - you're working hard - but if he has all this freedom and you both work all hours, then how do you have any idea what he is doing? Is he actually going to college, or is he bunking? Where is he meeting his friends? What do they do as a gang?

You also need to have a better chat with the YOT about your options with him there. They may be able to give you some advice.

Here are some support groups who may be able to talk to you:-

http://www.parentlineplus.org.uk/index.php?id=1

http://bily.org/

http://parentingteens.about.com/b/2007/05/25/out-o...

http://www.familyfirstaid.org/?gclid=COKvrI_ItpcCF...

Worst Scenario Ever

He needs counseling. He may have issues that he is uncomfortable talking to you about. I agree with turning his graffitti habit into something constructive like art classes or something. I do not agree with "kicking him out". Hold on tight to him and find out what's going on with him, encouraging him positively and stay consistant. Rules, Rules, Rules are a must. Don't give in due to frustration or guilt or b/c sticking to your guns is too hard. He sounds like a bright kid that is just misdirected. He's not committing violent crimes so it sounds like he just needs to be busy in a positive way(sports, art, acting, maybe getting him acquainted with an accountant that will let him hang out with them and get him interested in this). Call up your local jail or prison and ask for a tour to show him what prison is like. Good luck!! And always remember, tough love!!!

You need to take control of him. Ground him. He goes to school only and back home. He hasn't shown responsibility for any other privileges. He needs to be kept from those "friends." He can turn this around if you all work really hard at it.

Then help him find ways to release his artistic abilities in legal ways. Contact museums and see if they have any art programs.

It may come down to tough love if he won't follow your rules. Kick him out. Let him find out how hard it is.

Move far away and let him start fresh. This may sound drastic but he's in deep and he probably can't get out.

The money comes from either stealing and selling things or from drugs. Just because it's not kept at your house doesn't mean it's not happening.