Sister in Law Problems, please help me save my marriage!?

I'm so sorry to hear about this Sweetie -- It sounds like you married 'baby boy' and this is a difficult problem. All those women -- my goodness it's like he has five mothers instead of one! You don't mention your mother-in-law so I'm assuming she is not alive? If that's so, that could be yet another reason why his sisters act so maternally about him. Just know that it is not so uncommon for sisters to insinuate that no matter who their brother (and in this case an ONLY brother?) is involved with, the spouse will not be good enough for their baby brother! Try to recognize it for what it is because if you don't, you will find that it will eat you alive! First of all, don't play tit-for-tat because your husband will always be the 'monkey in the middle' and before long he will resent all of you! Be the peaceful one (as hard as that will be if you don't do this it will end up being more painful, trust me on that!) Never disparage his sisters. Embrace the fact that they love him so much they feel protective toward him. Try to take a position that if you can't beat them, join them! You said that you needed an answer from God? Well, maybe it's time to learn to turn the other cheek? Keep your friends close and your enemies closer. Look at it this way -- you all have something very important in common -- you all love your husband! I know you feel hurt and I do empathize with that, believe me. But I feel like since your husband is not recognizing the intrusive behavior being displayed by his sisters, you need to try to take a different route to get your point across. By simply leaving the room with your baby (and try hard not to look angry or impatient) when his sisters call, and occupying yourself elsewhere in the house during the calls, you will get accustomed to not being present to hear his one-sided conversation. Just breathe! Over time, you will learn to simply remove yourself from the situation so that you are not inclined to discuss this anymore. You've said your piece and he doesn't seem to get it. Let it go and move on. I know it sounds a little crazy, but I really believe that over time, if he is left to his own devices, he will begin to shorten the phone calls on his own. He will stand up for himself and say that he needs to go now so he can spend time with you and his baby. Please give this time -- at the end of the day, having a husband who feels loyal to family is not altogether bad. Who knows, maybe if you stop the tug-of-war for his attention, they'll drift away naturally after a while! Stay on the high road honey, God will help you if you show tolerance and patience -- I promise!

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Wow! first, that is the most insane problem i've ever heard of, and believe me i've heard some. First, it's not just your husband that has some problems here, it's his whole family. This entire situation is not healthy at all. His sisters need to back off. It sounds to me like they want to be the wife in this situation and that's not right! I wish i knew what to say to you. The only thing i can think of is seek outside council for you and your husband...eventually you may have to bring his sisters into it. Make them aware of the problems they cause. I will tell you this, i promise i will pray for you and your husband. What's happening to you is not fair in anyway, shape, or form. His family is no longer them. They are part of it but what they need to realize is that you, YOU and your son, are his family now. You should be first priortiy. If he doesn't learn that then he could lose you forever. I know Divorce isn't what you want...i don't think it's ever really what we want, but it's possible that may be your only way out if things don't change. As i said, seek a councilor or a pastor's advice on this situation. God bless, i will be praying!

That's a tough one! His sisters should never want to make you guys have a divorce, they should not be in between you guys that much. It's fine to keep in touch with a brother, but talking to him several hours a day is a bit odd, in my opinion. I think it would be better if they spoke a few times a week, if not less. I would consider you talking to the sisters about it. Set them straight! Seriously, just say something along the lines of.." hey I don't appreciate you....etc." & tell them how you feel. Even though it is his family, your husband needs to understand that you and his son are his main family now. He needs to realize that. Sister in laws can be the biggest pain ever! I learned that if you confront them directly about different concerns and feelings about situations you have, they will back off. I hope everything works out! If you need anymore advice or words of encouragement feel free to email me anytime! Good luck =D

It sounds as though you are jealous of his sisters. I would begin by stopping the nagging to your husband about his sisters and let this issue lie dormant. The more you say about it the more he will become resentful. He thinks there is a balance and you probably won't be able to change his mind. If in fact the sisters are doing these things then they do so because they get such a rise out of you.

Your husband loves you and. I am sure he would choose you and the baby over them if something came up to where he had to do so. Men are not complex creatures. They do not care for drama. To a man this would be a trivial thing.

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Hi

I am sorry to have to say this but your husband no matter how nice he is,needs to get some backbone,and tell his sisters where to get off,i personally would not let any member of my family interfere with my marriage,perhaps they just need a good man of there own,although by the sound of it they would probably scare the men off,next time they have a dig at you tell them you married there brother not them

You call your sisters in law and talk a whole lot to them.

In these conversations always say good things about your husband - tell them about the baby.

This will help in two ways -

a. You and his sisters will get to know each other better

b. They will slowly run out of topics to talk to him about ... and hence smaller phone conversations

Your problem is not with your Sisters in Law, your problem is with your husband not laying down the line. Either accept that his sisters will continue to domineer your husband or demand that he put your family first.