Question for first parents?

Hi Julie,

I had no idea that money would actually be paid to someone for my son's life.

I knew that the aps would be paying for my hospital costs, which at the time I thought I couldn't possibly ask my parents to pay for. Not because they didn't have it, but because I felt that I had shamed them by becoming pregnant at a time I didn't think that I could afford the costs that came with a pregnancy. I didn't know about Medicare or any other assistance and had (and have) no idea how much maternity costs would have come to in 1984, but probably less than I spent on my last vacation.

I would like to know if they paid for two attorneys or if the one that the adoption worker hired for me ("my attorney") was a 2-for-1 deal; did the lawyer who escorted me to court to see that I terminated my parental rights also finalize the of adoption? Don't imagine I'll ever find out with those pesky sealed records.

I know that they paid for the adoption worker to take me shopping at the local Sears store to get me a maternity outfit, for which I was grovelingly appreciative of at the time. I can still remember the feel of the cheap *** material those maternity clothes were made out of.

I know at least one other thing that they paid "extra" for, but won't mention it here as it will just give others looking to get a baby "ideas" on how to separate mother and child.

I have a feeling that they didn't pay much for my son because the adoption worker and my son's adoptive mother were (and still are) buddies. Maybe that's something they chat over lunch about and congratulate one another on, but I'm glad I don't know the final price tag on my son.

I think it is absolutely reprehensible that our children come with price tags. (I'm still sick about the link you posted to one of my recent questions!) It is hard to fathom that in this country, in this day and age, that it is acceptable that our children are part of the monetary transactions of a capitalist society. It sickens me that many of us could have "afforded" our children had we had any real support and counseling.

Thank you for asking.

My daughters adoption was also in 1972. I asked my mother just a week ago who paid my medical expenses and she couldn't remember.

My step father is gone now so the only ones who would know that would be rachael's parents. She isn't ready to ask them that.

Who ever did get stuck with my bills had their wallet drained since I was there for a long time both before and after delivery. Days of labor, a C-section, lots of infection, a drainage whole cut in my stomach at the end of my incision, and an I V to help with the massive headache due to all the infection.

From what rachael says she was also sick. I had not known that until we reunited. (since I was not allowed to know anything about her) She doesn't remember what was wrong with her, but she needed care as well.She was long gone before I went home.

I don't think we got anything in the way of money for food or rent. That would have made it very difficult for the agency to pull off the whole run away story they told her parents, had they been sending checks for my food, rent, clothing.

The agency we used was also associated with my step father's church.

I also had no idea money was exchanged for my daughter. I was mortified when I found out she was sold.

Dear Julie,

I do not know the final "price tag" for my children. I was totally unaware of how much L. & D. paid to adopt my son, they complained about the cost to me in reference to the agency but never mentioned a dollar amount. They said adopting was a financial strain after all the infertility treatments.

When my daughter was born, they decided it was cheaper to use a lawyer (I had no representation either time - I was told I didn't need one. *Shocker*) and that they could avoid the pesky counseling required by the agency that way too. D. whined to me several times that she shouldn't have to pay for another homestudy ($10,000) and other required things because they had already adopted. (I can't believe I actually agreed with her at the time!) She said it made her have to shop in thrift stores for things for the children. (I have always wondered if she ever did and if she shopped for herself at thrift stores too or only for the kids.) She said all this while staying in my home waiting for me to go into labor (for 2 1/2 weeks).

So, I have no idea how much total they spent but I DO know it was a nice fat profit for somebody. Oh, and they did not pay ANY of my medical expenses, bills, rent, etc. either - I did.

When I put my twins up for adoption I was 17. I received a check every month I was pregnant, medical bills payed for and living expenses. My mom received checks 6 months afterwords. I was completely unaware of this until years later. I didn't go through an agency. My mom's friend adopted them. Im 24 now. Thinking about it now it is sick, but I was naive.

Since my son was adopted through foster care his aparents didn't pay anything but I had no clue how much a newborn was worth at that time. I am revolted at the price tag attached to our children. If adopting a child really was about providing homes for orphans and the like it wouldn't come with a hefty price attached. Just goes to show what adoption is really about, finding a hot commodity for the people willing and able to meet the tag price! SICK!

Pardon me for answering as an adoptee (rather than first parent) but I haven't, as yet, been able to convince my Mom to come to the forum. ;-)

My a-parents got me for the 'screamin' deal (pun intended) of only $7,000. That was in 1972 through a "non-profit" ACK! (excuse me...phlegm) agency sponsored by their church.

My Mom doesn't know. She doesn't want to know. She (and her family, and my father) paid ALL of her own medical expenses. Her father was a doctor, so there was quite a bit of "professional courtesy" extended to her in terms of costs/fees. It was still astonishingly expensive, though.

I've never known although I suspect it was (still is) much cheaper than the USA. Personally I don't think anybody should profit from adoption period.

Didn't know the price then, still don't know the price now.

The thought is disgusting, I'm not sure I want to know how much they paid for my baby.

My daughter was adopted in 1972, she has no idea how much she cost (I asked her) but her Mom has a copy of the pay off check for 100.00.