julie j

In some states, it is legal & even encouraged for fathers to relinquish their parental rights BEFORE their child is even born and they have had a chance to see & interact with their child.

1) Whose interests does this really serve?

2) Isn't it discriminatory for the law to do this to fathers when it does not do this to mothers?

3) Isn't this practice a legal contradiction because the father would never be permitted to do this if he were only trying to avoid child support responsibilities if the mother had no intention of relinquishing to adoption?

4) What would happen if the father did sign away his rights thinking the baby was being given up for adoption and the mother decided to raise their baby? Is the baby still entitled to support from his/her father? Why or why not?

Thank you for your thoughts on this subject and how it relates to adoption.

your decision to relinquish your baby to adoption, what all would you want to tell them?

And if you feel differently now, how long after relinquishment did it take for this to happen?

Thank you for your 20/20 insights.

http://www.adoptioninstitute.org/research/2009_11_...

"BEYOND CULTURE CAMP: PROMOTING HEALTHY IDENTITY FORMATION IN ADOPTION"

This study, released in November, is the broadest, most extensive examination of adult adoptive identity to date, based on input from the primary experts on the subject: adults who were adopted as children.

Please share your thoughts on this report. Thank you.

If already in reunion, how do you feel about sharing your reunion experiences with your adoptive families? How receptive were they?

If still searching or planning on searching later, do you intend to keep the two families separate or do you feel obligated to include them?

Also, how supportive of your search/reunion were your AP's?

Did any other factors influence your decision?

Thank you for your thoughts on this topic.

(Obviously this question is mostly for BSE adoptees and probably won't apply to adoptees from families honoring open adoption agreements).

Many things in the adoption world do not make any sense. This is one of them. Thank you.

if they choose to no longer be in it? Why or why not?

If so, how would you envision making this possible?

If not, whos interest would the continued relationship then serve?

Does it make a difference that adoptive parents do have the right (and they do use that right, up to 25% of the time) to dissolve the adoptions that they chose to impose upon the child in the first place?

Thank you for any additional thoughts you have on this topic.

equal rights to their OBC's the way all non-adopted persons do? I know it's just a matter of time. What's your best guess? Thanks for your thoughts.

If the presumed point of adoption is to find the best possible homes and the best possible adults to raise the adoptees, what difference does it make whether or not the applicants are fertile or not? Is there any evidence that indicates infertile adults make better parents?

Yes, I can see how some PAP's might perceive of one benefit being the available babies are distributed around more equally to the have-nots, but where is the added benefit to the children, if there is any?

And does anyone think that agencies that use infertility or prior children in the home as preferential criteria in placement decisions are contributing to the commodification of children? If so, can anything be done about it? Thank you very much for your thoughts on this.

(Obviously this not does not apply to all agencies or to adoptions from foster care)

Why or why not? Thank you for your thoughts on this.

Mothers may not legally relinquish a child that has not yet been born and rightfully so. I have heard that fathers in some states are encouraged by adoption workers to relinquish their children before birth, and it can be legally binding.

If this is true, is this discrimination? Why should fathers not be given the same opportunities as mothers to first hold their babies, bond with them, and decide after the birth if they really wish to give up all their parental rights?

Should this be changed? If so, how would it be changed? Thank you.

Note: Please read entirety before responding.

I know the topic of adoption & breastfeeding has been addressed here before. This question is not about whether it is physically possible. What I am asking is how LEGALLY this is accomplished.

Who gives permission for this decision – the first parents? The state? As I understand, foster parents are never permitted to breastfeed babies in their care as it obviously involves intimate physical contact & the exchange of bodily fluids from one person to the baby. Babies placed into prospective adoptive homes are sometimes breastfed even though that home may not become a permanent placement for them. If adoptions take a minimum of 6 months to finalize from the time the child is placed in the prospective home, (presumably this is the time most babies are breastfed) how can adoptive breastfeeding be legally permitted at all when A) the child is not legally theirs yet and B) it’s unknown whether he or she ultimately will be.

Thank you for your answers.

What if you were only allowed to start from chapter 2? Would it give you adequate context to understand the rest? Could you still get the full enjoyment? What if chapter 1 was permanently forbidden to you & the book was about YOU? What if everyone else was allowed to read their own full stories & in some cases, your chapter 1? What if others tried to silence you or make you feel guilty for wanting the beginning or grateful for even having the rest of your book? Would it be fair?

Thank you for answering these adoption analogy questions.

How confident are you that the adoption you were involved with was 100% legal?

How are the terms “legal” and “ethical” different when it comes to adoption?

Thank you for your thoughts.

considered to not be well-adjusted individuals?

Why is this when the same is not said for non-adoptees who can see the problems with the adoption industry and vocalize them? Thanks for your insight here.

Would you be in favor of meetings, perhaps annually, between minor adoptees and child advocates? This would ensure the children are ok and give them an opportunity to express any adoption-related concerns & questions they may have and have those addressed early.

Adoptees, how would you have benefitted had this been available? Thank you for your comments.

Were you aware at the time of how much money adoptive parents paid in order to adopt your son or daughter? What are your current feelings of profits being made from babies? Thank you for sharing your thoughts & memories on this subject.

Were you ever spanked as a child? A Y!A adoptive parent recently stated they had to sign a document stating they wouldn’t ever spank their adopted child. While I do not believe in spanking any child, adopted or not, how could adoptive parents possibly be held accountable if they do spank? Thank you for your comments.

Sometimes people are referred to their churches to finance their desires to adopt babies, either privately or internationally. Should churches be expected to subsidize adoptions?

Would it be wiser to use church donations to help existing families in crises to stay together?

Thank you for your thoughts on appropriate roles, if any, for churches when it comes to helping families.

It's a documentary series on Discovery Health.

Thank you for your honest opinions.

I don't fully understand the reluctance to make changes to a system that is so obviously flawed when changes could benefit children.

Do some people really believe no improvements are needed in adoption today?

Are there some other reasons why some might fight to keep the status quo?

Thanks for any light you can shed on this.