Follow-ups with child advocates?

Yes, I would have liked to have that option available.

One of the things that I think is somewhat overlooked is the fact that EVEN when abuse is reported/investigated in adoptive families, the blame is often placed on the child ("she's had such a hard time adjusting", "he's so angry at his 'birthparents' and taking it out on us...") and it is FAR LESS often taken seriously than reports by a biological child. This is documented (in the USA), both nationally and in at least 5 states, including mine, that I have read extensively on the subject.

If it could/would work in the way that I believe you are proposing, it would have been the BEST thing I can think of to have offered support, relief, HELP in my childhood (and that of my little sister). To know that I could speak to someone about my (our) adoption(s) that was MY/OUR advocate, and not that of our aps, THAT would have been a miracle -- to me.

ETA: Um, Carnie? Did you read back what you wrote? You said: "I hear the reformists saying they want to be treated equally yet something like this would not make us equal but different." Did you not realize that "equal but different" still INCLUDES "equal"? And, there's no avoiding the "different" part. Adoption IS different.

As an adoptee and as an adoptive parent I would not favor this.

As an adopted child I already frlt different enough. Having to meet with an advocate would have made me feel even more different, plus I think it would have made me wonder if I might get taken away from my adoptive parents at some point if the advocate didn't think things were as they thought they should be.

As an adoptive parent, I could see an adoptive child using this as a something to hang over the parent's head. For example "If you don't let me do what I want, have what I want ect, then I'll just tell my advocate you are mean to me and they will take me away"

Once an adoption is final the parent and cihld have the same legal rights as any biological parent and child and one of those rights is freedom from government buerocrats.

I wouldn't be in favour of it at all. Essentially that would create two classes of children, those with an advocate because they were adopted and those without because they were natural born to the parents. Yes, the argument will be made that we already have double standards but as everyone here will agree we should be eliminating them, not creating them.

Also, it will create a situation where the parents authority will be undermined by, potentially, one child in the family and not the others who were not adopted.

IF there is a problem and IF there is a need to bring it forward then there are more then enough mechanisms to do so already. Any teacher, any physician, any Scout or Girl Guide leader and many others can be approached by a child, adopted or not, and those people have a duty of care to address the situation.

I see no need to both create another class of child or undermine parental rights and responsibility. I'd rather the time and effort be spent on the front end researching, investigating, confirming and supporting before the adoption takes place.

in our state social workers are required to do follow ups for 6 months or so after an adoption is final. That means the child has lived with his new parents for at least a year by then. They do it by appointment and at least once as a spot visit.

I think this would have helped me tremendously. I was raised with the "raised as if adoption doesn't matter" myth. Just having someone validate that it did matter would have helped me.

For those against it, the relationship between adoptee and APs was created by the state...therefore, I think the state has at least some obligation to monitor and continue to defend the "best interests" of the child.

The negative impact having an abortion has on the woman is one of the most ignored issues in this entire debate. The baby killers only concern is to abort as many children as possible. They offer all kinds of support to help insure that the evil deed is not interfered with. But what do they offer to help the women who experience very serious depression and guilt after wards? When a woman who aborts her baby spends the rest of her life looking at young people and realizing that her son or daughter would now be that age and is filled with regret, where are all the pro-choicers then? .

What a fantastic idea. I think at some point though the children should not be forced to do the meetings, but have that option available.

I would be in favour for my children to have this option. We also know we have the support of CAS completely and fully during my children's lives. If we need support, questions, resources etc. they will still assist.

At the meeting though, I don't think the advocate can be specific about the adoption adn such because as my children have continually told us "we are happy to be here and don't want to talk about it". They have lived through tremendous pain in their lives, and for now, they want to leave it behind. As they grow older, I am sure they will have more use for talkikng about it, but for now we just let them be kids and all that innocence that they lost we are trying to let them have it back.

But it is a good Idea Julie, with some tweaking it is a great idea!

I would be in favor of this for all children. Partly because if it were only available to adoptees, it would set them apart, possibly creating some uncomfortable side effects, and partly because other kids would benefit from the same interaction.

Nope. As an adoptee, this would have bothered me -- would've made me feel like something HAD to be wrong in order for me to be "normal". Biofamilies don't have to go through this - why should we as adoptees? Biofamilies aren't constantly questioned about their parenting so why should adoptees (as long as there's no evidence of abuse, etc). I hear the reformists saying they want to be treated equally yet something like this would not make us equal but different.

No, because that serves to make the adoptive child always somewhat separated and "different". I think that children who are adopted want more than anything to just "be one of the kids" If they have issues with feeling different there is always the option of going and seeing a counselor either at school or privately.