How to decline a gift, without offending the buyer?

Question

So, this Christmas, I hope this doesn't happen..I'd rather be ignored by these people, but I have a feeling they are getting me something for Christmas...here's the scenerio. My boyfriend, of one year's, dad doesn't allow him to talk to me when he's at his house or even text me. If he does, my boyfriend gets into trouble. (my bf says he's not allowed to talk to anyone who isn't family, but there was no rule before we started dating) I don't think they like me too much, because the last time I was "privledged enough" to go down there for a little while was on the Fourth of July..since then they've treated me like nothing more then a distraction. Recently, my dad passed away and his dad still insists that he can't call or text, even if I need my boyfriend. (he is the person I lean on when I have to be strong for my mom and siblings) The rest of his family loved me, they all are really nice and really supportive of our relationship..

How do I graciously, decline a present, if I were to recieve one from them? I don't want to offend them or cause anymore grief...but I have no idea how to decline a gift..except to say, "I can't accept this". 

Any advice?

RE · Accepted Answer

There is no way to "graciously decline" a gift from any family members of your boyfriend. If any one of them offers you a gift, it will mean they are reaching out to you in a very good way. If you refuse it, it would make it seem you are bitterly resentful of past mistreatment. You should graciously accept it.

Anonymous · Answer

I don't think there's really any way to decline a gift without hurting some ones feelings.  It happen to me and the person that decline the gift was very nice about it but it was still a slap in the face, a jab in the back, and hurt a lot.  This person gave me a gift this year and I returned the favor to them as they did to me last year.

He was offended that I would decline a gift from him, so I reminded him of what he did last year to me.  And he realize what a major mistake he had made and how hurtful it is to do this to some one. He did not like that feeling at all!  We talked and worked everything out and were still good friends.

Vivita · Answer

I can't seem to find any reason why you would decline the gift other than because of the strained relationship between you and your boyfriend's dad. You will only be causing more drama by declining the gift and this is time of year to let bygones be bygones. In the event you get a gift I would advise you to graciously accept it, it would be a step in the right direction to improving the relationship between you and your bf's dad.

eyJude · Answer

First of all YOUR BOYFRIEND HAS TO GROW A PAIR!!!

HE has to tell his parents that he WILL be in contact with you.

HIS parents are too controlling and he will have to break free of them to have relationships outside of the family.

Re the gift.  I would just accept the gift and then regift it.  or donate it to a homeless shelter / or battered womens center.

This way it doesn't cause more of a rift but it goes to someone else and does good.

If you bf won't stand up to them then I would be very careful about getting too serious about this kind of relationship which has such a hold on him.  (yes he grew up in it and he loves them... but he has to know this is not normal or healthy.) for you or him! 
good luck

Anonymous · Answer

You're putting the cart before the horse, you haven't received a gift yet, but if you do smile say thank you and give it to someone else.

Anonymous · Answer

Recieve it but give it to someone else, or give it to a local charity.

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How to decline a gift, without offending the buyer?

6 Answers