Need some really funny jokes?

Tum !

Yes, tum !

Gatar ke suwar,

Naali ke kirey,

Aawara *****,

Malaria ke macchar,

saand ke gobar,

Makkhi kethuk...

Se hamesha door

Rehna mere

"dost'

Lecturer: The lecturer is taking the class seriously.

One of the student looking towards the window side in the class room.

The lecturer asks the student "For what purpose you are coming to the school?"

Student: For vidhya sir(In Telugu Vidhya means Education).

Lecturer: Then why you are looking towards window?

Student: Vidhya(Girl friend) has not come upto now sir.

You can be sure the person is Sardar when he:

- Puts lipstick on the forehead because he wants to makeup his mind.

- Sends a fax with a postage stamp on it.

- Thinks socialism means partying.

- Takes a ruler to bed to see how long he slept.

- At the bottom of the application where it says, "Sign here" he puts "Sagittarius."

- Sells the car for gas money.

- Misses the 44 bus, and takes the 22 twice instead.

- Drives to the airport and sees a sign that said, "Airport left", he turns around and goes home.

* * * * * *

Why did 18 sardarjis go to a movie?

Because below 18 was not allowed.

* * * * * *

How do you make a Sardar laugh on Saturday?

Tell him a joke on Wednesday.

* * * * * *

What is the Sardar doing when he holds his hands tightly over his ears?

Trying to hold on to a thought.

* * * * * *

Why do Sardars work seven days a week?

So you don't have to re-train them on Monday.

* * * * * *

What do you see when you look into a Sardar's eyes?

The back of his head.

* * * * * *

What do you call a sardar who drinks only beer?

Just-beer Singh ('T' silent!).

* * * * * *

Why does Sardar always smile during lightning storms?

They think their picture is being taken.

* * * * * *

Why does Sardar have "TGIF" written on their shoes?

Toes Go In First.

* * * * * *

Why can't Sardar dial 911?

They can not find the eleven on the phone

* * * * * *

"Oh, look at the dead bird."

Sardar looked skyward and said "Where, Where?

* * * * * *

Two men at a bar had been enjoying a few drinks for the past couple of hours

and were pretty drunk when one of them notices a beautiful woman sitting in the corner.

One says to the other, "Jeez, I'd really like to dance with that girl."

The other man replies,

"Well go ahead and ask her, don't be a chicken."

So the man approaches the lovely woman and says,

"Excuse me. Would you be so kind as to dance with me?"

Seeing the man is totally drunk the woman says,

"I'm sorry. Right now I'm concentrating on matrimony and I'd rather sit than dance."

So the man humbly

returns to his friend.

"So what did she say?" asks the friend.

The drunk responded,

"She said she's constipated on macaroni and would rather $hit in her pants."

Death Row in Women’s Prison

Three women are about to be executed. One’’s a brunette, one’’s a redhead, and one’’s a blonde. The guard brings the brunette forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, “Ready! Aim…”

Suddenly the brunette yells, “EARTHQUAKE!!!”

Everyone is startled and throws themselves on the ground while she escapes.

The guard brings the redhead forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She say no, and the executioner shouts, “Ready! Aim…”

Suddenly the redhead yells, “TORNADO!!!”

Everyone is startled and looks around for cover while she escapes.

By now the blonde has it all figured out. The guard brings her forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, “Ready! Aim…”

And the blonde yells, “FIRE!!!”

One terrorist to another, " What if India attacks Pakistan?"

"What if Pakistan attacks Hindustan?" the other quipped.

"No bother. Either way we are safe and that will be a big joke." They both laughed and laughed.

Chota sardar: Mummy! kal raat ko phir maine bathroom ka darwaza khola to light apne aap jal gayi.

Mummy:****** tune phiir se fridge me susu kiya!

Ek sardar ka radio kharab ho gaya.khol k dekha to ander CHUHA mara hua tha.,dekh k sardar bola :-ae lo,chalega kaise ,singer to mar gaya.

There is a mirror that kills anyone when they say a lie and here is the tragedy

Q:How u will be in 2050

An:

American:I think we will manintain PEACE.....

(he DIED)

Russian:I think we will MAINTAIN....

(He DIED)

Pakistani:i think WE

(He DIED)

Sardar :i THINK

(He died)

once there was a black man and a white man and a chinese man and they all had camels that farted. so one day the chinese man challenged the black and white man to see whose camel can go up the hill the furthest without farting. so the black man went and his camel made it up half the way then the white man went and his camel made it up three-quarters of the way then the chinese man went and his camel made it up all the way so the two men confused asked the chinese man how his camel made it up all the way and theirs didn't so the chinese man said'' me chinese me not dumb me stick rock up camels bum

MY UNCLE LOST HIS DOG LAST WEEK.SO I SAID,WHY DON'T YOU PUT AN ADVERT IN THE NEWSPAPER? HE SAID "DON'T BE SILLY,THE DOG CANT READ."