Why is Jesus' return so delayed?

Homeland Security is sending him to Gitmo.

If Elvis delays his return any longer, does he run the risk of appearing less than punctual? You can do nothing after you die. Your body ceases to function in any way other than to decompose (unless man interferes by means of cremation). Decomposition is natural. It is just a way of transferring energy and matter into a different physical arrangement of atoms, as is cremation (1st law of thermodynamics). If you believe that souls are eternal and exist outside of our reality and are immaterial, I can only argue this: Anything which exists outside of reality is fantasy and requires use of the imagination to conceive. Jesus will never return. Just like Elvis will never return.

It is in His perfect time that He will return. Be watching for the signs of His return tho... God Loves you and He wants to give you more time to know him.... it says in the Bible that Jesus will return when every person has heard of Him. (not sure where in the bible it says that tho). Here's something for you to look up on You Tube.... LAMININE it helped me see why God and Jesus exist. "God so loved the world that He gave His one and only son that who so ever believed in Him would not perish, but have everlasting life." What do you think will happen to you when you die? Just think about it... you wouldn't be here if there was nothing to create you... the world would be much more crazy if there was no God to watch over us. As for the bursting into flames part... you've got it almost right! lol Jesus is the light of the world, so you're kinda close lol!

He does seem long overdue, but I doubt that the need for non-flammable clothes has anything to do with the delay. After all, they didn't ignite at the Ascension. So just remember that line from the hymn "O God Our Help in Ages Past": "A thousand ages in Thy sight are like an evening gone." :

The second advent of Jesus Christ is running right on schedule.

A question filled with such sarcasm... Why dont you do some of your own research and you'll find thats jesus return has no time. We cannot predict it, so stop trying.

Daylight savings time. Forgot to put his watch forward.

Yeshua's return will be when God's Plan says he will come. We are still only in the 6th millinium.

Gal 6:7 Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.

I can understand why you would make fun of it. Since you clearly have not been told the Truth. I was once a christian that didn't get it because we are not taught anything that makes sense in christianity and yet we all just blindly followed anything that our "pastors" would tell us but God's Truth is completely understandable and I mean COMPLETELY.

But just in case you are interested here is a breakdown of the plan of YHWH according to the milliniums we are in.

The seven days of creation are a reflection of the seven milliniums until God restores his children to be with him. It is written that to God one day is to a thousand and one thousand are to God as one day.

1st day- seperation of land and water

1st millinium- man is separated from God because of his sin in the garden

2nd day is about waters being separated from the sky

2nd millinium- the flood(waters) destroys almost all mankind

3rd day-God made dry land appear and created vegetation and seed to bear fruit

3rd millinium- God's children Abraham, Isaac and Jacob were fruitful and multiplied

4th day- God created lights in the sky to mark the seasons days and years and two to govern the night and the day to shed light on the earth

4th millinium- God gave us torah, prophets, kings and judges to be lights to us and to govern us and the messiah came to be "a light to the world"

5th day- God made all the living creatures in the sky, land and sea and told them to be fruitful and multiply.

5th millinium-Men have been filling up the earth at huge rates.

6th day- God made man in their image and woman from man and he gave them authority to rule over the whole earth and all that lived in it and he dwelled with them.

6th millinium-This is our current millinum that we are at the end of...seriously any day now.. Prophecy tells us that this is when the messiah will return but that he will return to rule and reign this time and dwell with us.

7th day- God rested

7th millinium- God has promised a seventh covenant of Peace and rest to his children where his children reign with him a thousand years.

The point of all this is to chose YHWH(God). God's plan takes patience and God's plan is done in steps as is every goal on earth.

He's out on I-95 stuck in traffic

Egyptian God Horus and Mithra of Persia beat him up for stealing their life stories and claiming them as his own, he should be out for another couple millieniums

I think he's doing a dinner show at the Restaurant at the End of the Universe.