What do you think of this introduction?

Have you ever felt like you don’t belong, like everyone on this planet who’s wrapped up in all the insignificant troubles of our world is just too normal for you? Have you ever felt like you aren’t supposed to be here, or that you don’t exist?

I have.

It starts when you begin to wonder. I mean, here we are, stuck on this spinning speck in a forgotten corner of the universe that theoretically never ends. Just try to imagine, even if the sheer immensity is beyond understanding, beyond anything really. Billions of trillions of infinite miles, stretching on forever. And no one knows why we’re here or can come up with a plausible reason for it existing. No one’s explored it. And when you really start thinking about it, doesn’t existence suddenly seem impossible, unreal? Aren’t all the “normal” things we concern ourselves with, elections and tests, taxes and wars, suddenly dwarfed by the greatest mysteries of the universe?

And then it really starts getting deeper. It’s like looking at a word written in your language for too long. If you stare at it, I mean really look at it for long enough, it suddenly seems like something from a different language. It has no meaning, no flashes of sounds and colors accompanying it. You start to see it for what it really is, begin to look at it through the eyes of someone who’d never seen English before.

It’s like that, when it starts getting deep, this feeling that I have sometime. Only, for me, it’s stronger. Suddenly, it feels like I don’t belong to….myself. Like a word that doesn’t belong to its language, or a bird that doesn’t belong to the sky. The entire concept of me being…..me doesn’t seem real.

It’s a strange feeling, to not feel like who you are, to not think of this person, with all their ideas, all that they’ve done and known as yourself. It gets even weirder when you start to think, if I’m not me, who am I?

Last summer I found out who that was. I’d always known I was different, somehow, but never who I was alike to, before then.. It was your typical summer, the kind that is so monumentally peaceful that you long for an adventure. What wasn’t typical was that I got one.

The summer of Nesupin.