Birthday party invitation etiquette?

Make it like a birthday theme thing. Literacy is great. ask the guests to share their favorites with your child. not a rude idea in my opinion.

According to *proper* etiquette, you NEVER make any mention about what gifts a guest is to bring. Gifts are always optional and at the discretion of the giver.

One thing that my husband wants to do is to have our son (when he's just a pinch older - he's two) pick like 10 toys at Birthday and Christmas time to donate to charity. I think it's a good idea. It will be harder for me because I am a packrat by nature and have a hard time parting with things. So this may help my son avoid that problem.

I can relate to the whole thing about a lot of toys in a short period of time. My son's birthday is in October. And he's gotten a lot of toys. And now they are taking over the living room and his room! And with him being only 2 years old, I don't know what to pack up just yet. He still plays with some of his "baby" toys, and doesn't really "get" all the big boy toys just yet.

I'd stick to simply suggesting books to people when they ask. And start a tradition of giving away toys that have been outgrown and/or become less interesting.

ADDED: I hear what you are saying about the little brother, but I think you can still give some toys away... with both boys. Both boys will have birthdays and Christmas gifts every year. And you'll have a mountain of toys for both.

Come to think of it, a friend of mine had two girls about three years apart and they still did something similar. Every summer they had the girls clear out their play room (together) and each fill a big box of toys. Then they would have a yard sale. The girls got the money for the toys that sold and donated the rest after the yard sale.

I think it's ok not to hold on to stuff just for the other one to grow into. He'll get plenty of his own :-) And he can still keep some favorites too.

But the packrat in me would want to hold on to them too. I'm still working on letting go of all the clothes that don't fit anymore! LOL

I definiately think that would be fine.

I would rather spend money on a present that the child needs and wants, then something that will never be used!

Maybe you could a note on the invites saying something like "As we have just celebrated Christmas please don't feel obligated to buy a gift! But if you do, books would be very much appreciated as Cody loves to read!"

I don't think that would be rude at all. If you're not comfortable with that, just mention it when people call to RSVP.

If he gets more toys, you could stash some away in a closet (you could try this with xmas toys too) and bring them out in a few months so he has something new to play with.

Hope your little boy had a great birthday! :)

don't put it on the actual birthday card, but if you really don't want or need anymore toys, just drop a hand written note (or typed out printed cut up note thing) in with the invitations and say something like "I do apologize if this seems rude and I hope no one takes offense, but with Christmas having just passed we feel that Cody has enough toys to do him for a while, but he is lacking on books and clothes (add his sizes). He does have a few books but not as many books as toys. We're hoping that instead of toys, you will consider buying books for him instead. Our greatest thanks! - Your family name here."

and i wouldn't wait to tell people when they RSVP.. for my baby shower i had TWO people RSVP and over 50 show up.. so, i would just drop a note in the invite and apologize right at the beginning for seeming rude and that you hope no one takes any offense to your request.

thats what i would do though.. you're going to get a bunch of comments saying that its very rude to request gifts.. but you know what, if its just going to be a waste of money and your kid is never going to even consider playing with it and you just have to throw it away unused.. i would think that to be way more rude than a simple request for books!

No, you cannot request a certain gift on an invitation but... when people ask, tell them exactly what you just said...or make that the theme of the party...most people will get into it and bring a book vs toy.

If there is a certain type book, (ie, Dr Seuss) you can make up a cute rhyme that incorporates the no toys but bring your fav Dr Seuss book

While it is good etiquette to bring a present, and it is expected, it is not required. So, no, I would not put it on the invitation. I would do like you said, and wait until they ask what he wants/needs. Other than that, just wait until the party is over, let him choose which ones he would like to keep, and which ones he would like to exchange for books.

I don't think it's rude. I would just put on the invite that this year, Cody is very interested in books, so to further his love of reading, please consider a book, then maybe name a couple of favorite series or whatever. I think it would be helpful, rather than rude.

I would probably wait until the people RSVP. Most people ask anyway, and it's a little more personal than putting it on the invitation. Have you ever considered asking for donations for a charity in your son's name. That would be more acceptable to include on the invitation.

I don't think it's rude at all to mention that he'd prefer books. Perhaps mention it by adding a cute little poem or something about reading and the adventures he could have, etc...

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