Eating dinner without hubby there?

Question

My hubby and I often disagree about dinner and when to eat it. He has an erratic work schedule, he calls himself a construction sub-contractor and basically works when he gets a call to go do a job. Some days he gets home by 6pm and we all eat together, other nights he's not home till between 10pm-11pm. Like. last night he got home a little after 10, even though he'd been off since 4pm. Anyways, he had his cell off and I couldn't reach him, so I went ahead and fixed the kids grilled cheese sandwiches and had them asleep by the time he was home. (they're between the ages of 4-6) He was mad cause it made him feel like we excluded him and said next time I need to wait to feed the kids until he gets home, plus he doesn't like wasting money on groceries if I'm just going to fix them stuff from around the house. This doesn't make much sense to me, but I'm not him either. Anyone care to shed some light on this for me? Thanks!

Update:

Thanks for the ideas about fixing him a plate and him microwaving it, I have tried that, but he does not eat left overs, even if it's from just a few hours ago. He wants something fresh and just cooked when he eats. It would make it a lot simpler if he would though.

pumpkin · Accepted Answer

he is being very selfish!!! first of all how he can even ask you to wait till 10-11 pm when he gets home + kids at this age should be in bed!!! IF I were you I would serve him soup every day! - don't turn off the stove only leave this at worm so he can't tell you is leftover:D
My husband ALWAYS call me when he gets off the work - then I know that it's my time to start cooking (I have prepared the food earlier) 
Don't know what to advice you - try to talk to him

volstad · Answer

Who cares in case you're "excited" to do your artwork ? Are you so deluded as to anticipate that your husband is "excited" each and on a daily basis approximately going out and dealing a minimum of 8 hours of his day to help your butt ? So, get excess of your self, and start up doing all your *proportion* of the marital artwork. manage your and your youngster's time table so as that dinner prep time extra effective suits the toddler's nap time. playstation . i'm surprised and disgusted on the selfish answerers who call for that the only working companion do much extra artwork. If a spouse needs the stay at domicile gig, then thats what that interest is composed of. how lots of those sexists might insist that the stay at domicile spouse OWES the husband to accomplish a little of HIS artwork, eh ? plenty for "equality"...

Anonymous · Answer

I was in construction for many years and owned my own business. We ate at the same time every night. If I was not home on time then it was my fault.

Kaia · Answer

He's an idiot?  Your children need to eat at a decent time, and have a schedule even if he doesn't.  That means a set bed time.  

How does it waste money on groceries if you're fixing them stuff from around the house? 

Sounds like he's petty, childish, self-centered and needs a kick in the tush.

blues breaker · Answer

sorry but i think he's a childish jerk.
too demanding and a bit controlling. perhaps if he'd come home after work instead of turning off his phone a going out, you could all eat together.
what do you suppose he was doing for that 6 hours last night?

michael_white2 · Answer

The kids need a regular time to be in bed. It's not their fault daddy works weird hours. He needs to chill out and realize if he's so serious about being in their lives...he NEEDS TO BE in their lives.

Groceries? Umm...aren't you suppose to eat groceries? I don't think he's stupid enough to think that Groceries are meant to be saved? 

Tell him, if he's going to come in late...he's to expect that the kids will be in bed already and he needs to be as quiet as possible when returning home so that they can sleep.

As for you...I'd recommend preparing food enough for the whole family, so when your husband gets home late, the two of you can sit down together to eat. Of course...this would require that you knew he was going to be late and would need him to keep his cell phone on so you can communicate.

Sorry if I sound suspicious right here...but for him to be off of work at 4pm and not be home until 10pm...sounds like he was spending time getting dinner with someone else...and maybe some desert.

robert_stefan2002 · Answer

Make him a simple dinner and have him microwave the dinner when he gets home. The kids CANNOT wait to eat. he has to understand this.

Erick P · Answer

Hmm, if I had his work schedule, I would not be so arrogant to force the wife and kids to wait on me.  If I'm going to be an hour late now and then, yeah, but 10 o clock on an unpredictable cycle?  No way.  He needs to be more understanding.  I think he is being selfish.

kelannde · Answer

The kids need to eat on a fairly routine schedule. Tell him when you will be serving dinner, then wrap a plate up for him and leave it in the fridge. When he decides to come home, he can eat - and if it's a reasonable hour, you can sit with him when he eats.

Just set dinner time for every night at the same time - then he will know when he is expected. Say "From now on, dinner will be on the table at 7 p.m." then stick to it.

Edit: He doesn't eat leftovers? Then he should plan on being home at 7 for dinner. His kids eating on time is more imporatant than his finicky butt. Why are you allowing him to control you this way? He's old enough to learn how to make his own dinner if he doesn't appreciate what you've already made.

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Eating dinner without hubby there?

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