Why do Filipino parents in America criticize their children too much? And criticize the younger Generation?

I hear you, but this thing is not unique to the Filipino people.

In fact it might be more rampant with other cultures such as the Hispanics, those of African origin & other Asians, such as the Chinese, Vietnamese, Indians, etc. etc.

My parents are Filipinos born in the Philippines & has been living in the US for close to 30 years but they have never criticized us, their children as what you have mentioned in your question but I am pretty sure there are a lot of those parents that do so, & some in varying degrees of criticism.

You mush also remember that most of you in the "younger generation" (not only Filipinos) believe that they know a lot more than their parents & are indeed disrespectful, ungrateful & are spoiled, so most of the criticisms are NOT without basis.

If you are not one of those spoiled kids then it does not pertain to you. If you are being criticized then take it as a constructive criticism & try to see where the "older generation" is coming from, for in no time you would be part of the new "old generation" in say in 20-50 years.

Additional:

We can all judge all the past generations before us (well of course we weren't there & we have all this knowledge already) but do not be surprised to be judged yourself by the next generation after you & I just hope that they will not tell you that your generation drove society as we now know it even lower than the older generations.

So really the point is, it is hard to generalize.

I'm not Filipino, but I'll take a guess. Many cultures are group oriented, and America focuses on what's good for the self. So these people who come from cultures where the most important thing was to make the group better, it's a surprise for them that their children want what's best for themselves (learning that behavior from having grown up in America). Neither of them are wrong; the children wouldn't be able to be happy (especially because they'd see their friends pursuing their dreams), yet the parents don't understand how they could raise children that didn't have the same values (if only in this one instance) as them, values that they were taught as the utmost importance.

it is because of all the hard work, effort, time, and sacrifice that they put in to get you out of a 3rd world dump. so that you can do that something you want. if you can't understand all that criticizing, it is because you never had to go through all the trouble that they went through.

most filipino kids in the philippines your age can't compare with what you have. some of the things you take for granted are not even possible to most. though you probably don't care, your parents know these things. they are upset at you because you don't seem to value and appreciate them through what they see you do and what you say.

and btw, that housewife wearing a yellow dress saved a country, a people, and in a not too wild assumption, saved you, too.

That's not a true statement. Filipinos in the USA do not criticize their kids more so than other American parents. It may only seem that way to you as compared to how pinoys in the Philippines communicate with their kids. In the Phils. most parents cannot expect their kids to be as successful as them given the dire economy in the country, and so there is usually no need to drive that point home. That isn't true in America, where opportunities to advance are plentiful and often their kids are oblivious to these.

My mother does this to my siblings and I. I dont know her motive behind it- I guess her personal success is measured thru her children. It makes it hard for us because, we are just average kids. My cousins (her brother's children) are validictorians so we CONSTANTLY hear "Why cant you be more like them?!"

But, my husband's parents are the same way, always calling their children spoiled and this I understand. They were very poor back in the PH, and even some of the stories you hear is so saddening. They worked very hard to find a way into the US and to bring their kids over and when they got here, they were very demanding money wise. Of course, two under the table paid immagrants cant give their 3 children everything they want, so its very unapprieative on the children's part because theyre not recognizing what life their parents spared them of and instead are always demanding more and more.

Please understand what your parents have went through back in the days when they were still in Pinas.

Kids like you in Pinas faces hardships you can only imagine happening in reality shows. Your parents experienced the same hard life, and they grew up with Filipino values that you may find alien because you grew up in a land where independence and individuality are valued more than traditions and family bonds.

Again...Try to understand their point of view. Even if you find them upsetting, they as parents only want your well being. Talk to them, and if you think either one of you are too angry to stick to reasonable conversations, excuse yourself.

You may think you're so full of wisdom right now, but wait until you have your own kids.

PS: Housewife wearing a yellow dress is Corazon Aquino, widow of jailed opposition leader Ninoy Aquino, who chose to end his exile in USA and come back in Pinas, only to be assasinated by the people who sees him as a threat to the corrupt martial law regime of Marcos.

More PS: I think I know why you are upset. You are scared that you may not live up to your parents' expectations. I know oldtime Filipino parents would like to brag about their kids, but that doesnt mean they will reject you if you did not follow their templates for what they want you to become. Again, be calm and understand their mindset. They did not grew up in America, so they will not treat you the same way Mr. Robinson next door will do with their kids. And probably you already know that Americans will "expect" their kids to move out once they reach 18, while in Pinas even kids that are already married can stay with their parents' home.

WOW. those last few statements were really a winner.

First of all, the filipino culture is family-oriented. All for the good of the family. If I could, I would do anything to never dissapoint my parents. I am not at all submissive. I break rules, but I know my limits. Why? Because my parents work hard to give me the money I SPEND TO SHOP AND EAT AND STUDY. My parents are so nice, too nice in fact, that they barely give me rules. Why? Because they trust me to know what to do.

This is the filipino perspective.

My parents also nag sometimes, that's how they are when they're frustrated. But to say all this, YOU ARE BEING TERRIBLY UNGRATEFUL. All the insults you threw at us is proof enough.

Your parents or grandparents probably worked their *** off to give you everything you have and take good care of you. You have no idea to what depths family ties matter in the Philippines. If I had a distant relative in some province and I needed a place to stay, no matter how distant, they would willingly shelter me and spend for all my needs. I know and am close with all my cousins even if we are barely connected at all.

My parents get to scold me off because no matter what happens to me they will always be there to catch me.

Btw, Cory may have just been a housewife, but she was honest and willingly returned a great amount of power even if she could have kept it. Why did she win? Because she was the only one with balls to fight the others even if it cost her life.

Marcos, may have been "evil" his last few years but was great in his first term. He is also a bar topnocher and a senator before his term as president so he wasn't an illogical choice. HE STOLE FROM THE PEOPLE. that is not the filipino people's fault.

you need to calm down and think. don't generalize. i'm a filipino mom in the US, i grew up in the philippines and i'm still proud of my kids no matter what they do and how they live their lives. i understand everyone's individuality, and i accept it. if my kids decide to stop going to school, i will of course talk to them and ask them why but i will never force them to do anything they don't want. it's their life, they can do with it whatever they want and i'm their mom, i will always be here waiting for them and always ready to help them get back on their feet whenever they need help but never before they need it.

life is complicated enough as it is, i want them to learn and know how to survive on their own. i will die someday, i want them to be independent and responsible.

i am proud of my kids even if they're not doing well in school. i'm proud of them because they are growing up as responsible individuals, and i know that they are doing their best to acquire as much knowledge as they can from school. they don't need to have good grades in school, i just want them to learn as much as they can, to do the best they can to learn.

life isn't about grades or career or academic accomplishments. life is about what you achieve to help others and life is about being responsible individuals - being unselfish, caring, thoughtful and understanding. not judgmental and bitter.

good luck! live your own life, picture yourself 10-15 years from now - where do you want to be? what do you want to be doing? will you be happy doing it? how many people will you have helped by that time? how many real friends will you have and helped? what your parents say now will no longer matter after 10-15 years, or will it?

Marcos was a puppet of USA not "elected"

oh man, you are RIGHT man!!! my parents are like that too... they think that I'm always wrong, that I'm so spoiled, or that I'm a disgrace in their family... F**K man!!! I hate it when they force you to become something that you don't like to be...