when does sleeping in a parent's bed need to stop?

As long as your girlfriend and her son are not bothered by this, then I don't see a problem. If they are both getting enough sleep, then this situation will resolve itself soon enough. Her son will reach puberty and will most likely want some distance. As long as nothing inappropriate is going on there's nothing wrong with this.

Since he doesn't sleep in the bed when you are there, this is really an issue for the boy's mother. It's really the mother 's call.

Compromise. In the room and on the floor is fine. Then phase it out to be less often instead of the norm.

Definately not in the bed on a regular basis. On rare occasion mom and son have their own blankets I don't see an issue. But, every night or most nights or even more than once in a blue moon is becoming an issue at that age.

A 15 minute "cuddle" in the morning or the evening before bed while you read or talk in my opinion is fine. Sometimes my 11 year old son will come and invade the bed on weekend mornings to wake up mom and dad, etc.

I say try to get her to move him to the floor. As for getting up in the middle of the night to get him this or that. He's 12! and more than capable of getting a drink. As for food it can wait until breakfast.

Being scared she can get up and take him back to his room and let him talk for a few minutes then turn on the hallway light or bathroom light and tell him to do his best to go back to sleep. For the most part he needs to get it out of his system and talk about his dream (or whatever is scaring him) then she can re-assure him that everything will be okay and she is not far and will not let anything bad happen.

As long as everyone involved is comfortable with the sleeping arrangements, getting a good night's sleep and there is nothing illegal or inappropriate going on, then people should sleep wherever they want to sleep.

If he's 12, it won't be long before puberty hits & he starts wanting to sleep alone, anyway.

Since Birth. My sister in Law has a 4 year old that sleeps with them in bed. The only reason they allowed it was so they didn't have to get up in the middle of the night to attend their child. Now she's pregnant again (huge) and can't get the kid out of the bed. Back to you :12 is wayyyyy to old to be in the same bed even in the same room. Hope your GF soon realizes this and gets him out, it not doing him any good.

shouldn't have started at all. Number one you are putting the child in a dangerous situation. letting the child sleep in the same bed can also cause problems for the parents or in this case the couple. This is a major problem that she created at a young age. When I was little and scared I did run to my parents room but my mother would NEVER let me get into the bed. She would walk me back to my room hug me and put me back to bed. This wont be an easy thing to fix. Sounds like she doesn't mind. Its really kind of sick when you look at it.

Since your girlfriend is the mom, it's really her call. If she's ok with it, then let her decide. Kids are different and if this situation isn't affecting her son or her adversely, then don't worry.

sleeping in a parents bed needs to stop... like by age 5 AT THE LATEST. unless of course its like a once in the blue moon thing. like, if an 8 or 9 year old wakes up in the middle of the night and feels really sick or has like a terrifying nightmare and they are desperate to sleep with mom, then okay, thats fine. But 12??? ... thats like puberty age. both son and mom need space, especially in the bed. Talk to your girl. hopefully if you tell her you just want to look out for both of them, she will get it. good luck=)

It shouldn't ever start! Sleeping in Mom's bed should be saved for thunderstorms or something special, but not everyday sleeping. Plus at that age, it's way too old to still have problems sleeping by yourself. Pretty soon it's going to effect his social life. Having friends sleep over or have a girlfriend.

my 11 and 14 yr old daughters sleep in my room when dad is not home and when he is home they sleep in there own beds. They do not sleep in my bed, My rule is if you want to sleep in my room it has to be on the floor. I made the mistake of starting them in my bed when they were babies and When they were 3 & 6 I finally got them in there own beds, Now for some reason they have to be in my room so I make them sleep on the floor hopefully they get tired of being on the floor and go back to their own beds. Tell your girlfriend to try making him sleep on the floor, even when he wants to sleep on couch tell him if he wants to be comfortable he has a bed.

I hope this helps

Sleeping in a parent's bed needs to stop when the parent decides that it needs to stop. In this case, the parent is your girlfriend, not you. If she is bothered by it, then she'll stop it. I see nothing wrong with it.