Help me please, How can i get a little self belief in myself?

It'll be tough but you need to pick yourself up, scrape yourself together and start again.

You point out that you had a nice life (friends etc) before her, so have confidence in yourself to be able to build that back up again.

Even if you work anti social hours there are things you can do - how about enquiring at a local college/uni about a short course? Many run courses for an hour or two a week so you could start meeting new people and learn something new at the same time.

Also, maybe try and connect with your old friends even if you've not spoken for a while. Even if you fell out with them over her, now she's out of your life they might be understanding and be willing to make up. It's not like you've got anything to loose by giving it a shot..

Well start by forgiving her for not being the perfect love of your life.

Then forgive yourself for not being perfect as well. Make sure you do both of these things properly.

If you follow a faith of any sort seek out your Priest/Rabbi etc and go and see him/her. You can talk in confidence in fact even if you are lapsed or have no faith these people are some of the best people to talk to and you don't have to be worried about 'being converted' no self respecting faith leader would pressure anyone.

If that avenue is not available to you do you have a sibling you can talk to? Far too many of us don't learn to trust those closet to us. Blood is thicker than water.

Next look for a simple hobby/pastime that doesn't matter about your working hours.

Fishing is one if you work nights then after resting when you have 48 hours off you can go daytime fishing.

Join a library try a few fictional books, detective stories are good.

The Bone Collector by Geoffrey Deaver is a good thriller

I can only suggest other authors I like but you can try many at the library where you can read a chapter or so before loaning the book/s.

Membership in the UK is free don't know about other countries.

Then look to find something to volunteer for, charity groups always need helpers and you meet a lot of other people there from all walks of life especially at places like Oxfam, British Heart Foundation, etc there are literally hundreds of organisations who want your time more than your money.

But chin up we all feel down sometimes and sometimes for a long time. Sadness when things go wrong is normal and so are you.

You Look in the mirror and tell the image you see that they deserve better than the crap they have endured and they will get past the depression caused by the control freak.

You need to change counsellors as the one you got is not reaching the problem only making it worse.

You are good enough to be anything you want to be ,so dont let the crap get you down . Laugh at the ***** and feel sorry for who-ever she has moved on to.

I'm really sorry to hear about this. Try going out with your friends to help you to forget about what happened with that girl. Spend time with those who make you feel good and more confident. In time your confidence will grow and you will start to feel better. You said that she destroyed your friendships, but I am sure your friends will realise that she was the cause of your falling out with them and they will accept you back.

Understand that it was not your fault, so blaming yourself for what happened is futile.

Her manipulative actions speak VICTIM in big letters, and says everything about HER that is unhealthy. Forgive yourself, learn from this, and when the time is right, move on. For now, perhaps be at peace with being in your own space. Self-imposed exile is no bad thing. It gives you time to sort yourself out.

Learn from it, make sure you don't make the same moves again.

The past is the key to the future if we decide to learn from it.

All the best, have a good day!

this can be sorted out so easily!, what you are doing is catastrophic thinking and irrational thinking!.

she has made you think this way. instead of counselling try CBT, this will help you to reverse this way of thinking.

why dont you go out socialising anymore? ring up you old friends?, is it fear of what they might say? the key word is MIGHT. do it and they will probably be so pleased to hear from you.

That's stupid just say you can do it you can do anything if you set your mind to it (which is true) and forget her find someone else. And if i were you id get a job fast cause your gonna go broke =]