Sex life has gone to the dogs.....?

Do you remember the bit that went "for better or worse" in your vows? I think that just because your wife isn't interested in sex at the moment its not a reason to leave. A good husband should support her through this, have you actually asked her why she isn't interested? Remember that communication is the key to making relationships work. It might be that the last time you had sex it was painful for her (can you imagine passing a baby out of your penis, would you want to have sex again?!?)

I think that breaking up a family just because you are not getting any is pathetic.

You need to talk to your wife about this, in my opinion you should also tell her about your infidelity too, and she might make the decision for you! If she decides to stay and work things out with you, you two should try to talk more about your problems, you might find that you can fix things before things get out of hand like they have here.

There is a basic unfairness about a couple marrying and one person deciding not have sex anymore. At the end of the day, that makes the initial promise void (though not in the eye of the law) as one person broke the promise. Although having a fling is certainly not the best thing to do, there is no need to feel guilty about it. You have physical needs. But it's not a satisfactory solution. But there might be another way. I think it is important that both of you talk about your needs and feelings and articulate them clearly. There might be a reason for your wife's behavioiur and maybe even a remedy. But you have a right to your sexuality so if it turns out that your wife wants to reduce your marriage to friendship or even just a partnership of convenience, you have two options: walk out or arrange yourself with the situation. That is not the best solution but what else can you do if someone else tried to determine if and when you can have sex. The clear message you must send it's that it's not you who is the problem but she. Sex is a part of marriage and a relationship. Maybe outside help would be a good idea, like a marriage counsellor.

I can probably relate to you somehow. I love sex, but don't have any children, and don't want them either. It's an issue I have. My partner, comes from a sexless marriage and always complained that he never got the sex he wanted. When we started our relationship 2 years ago, everything was wonderful, we would have sex sometimes 2-3 times a day and 5 days a week at least!!!

Lately, I feel like a man...... On average, we've had sex 1,5 times a week in the last 2 months! I think what I find most difficult to deal with is the rejection!

I wish you all the luck, but you need to express to her exactly what you have said to us, probably avoiding the fling things.

Good luck to you!

Well, if you waltz in and say I'm not getting enough she's going to call you a pig and push you away even more. You're going to have to be delicate. Explain to her that you have concerns with your lack of communication. Tell her you want to talk about your feelings. Women love to talk about feelings. You may find out why your sex life has taken a nose dive. Go buy her the book The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands. Tell her you read the book and it explains a lot of your feelings. Do a little courting with her. Buy her flowers, tell her how pretty she looks (even if she doesn't), do the dishes for her and don't forget to tell her how pretty she is.

I don't know how it happens but sometimes after being married for a while and having children sex doesn't have as much importance to women. Women express love by care taking. They don't always understand men need sex to feel loved and needed. You're going to have to let her know that rejecting you makes you feel unloved. If after the book, the talks and the courting and she is still unfeeling I would have to guess that she is just staying in the marriage for the children and/or security.

Keep trying to repair things with your wife. It may take a little while to get things back to the honeymoon phase. In the mean time don't continue with the affairs because it is taking your focus away from your marriage.

Best of luck to you!

Coming from a guy who has been there let me tell you a story. My ex wife and i got married outta hs she got pregnant and we had a girl. the lite of my life. the sex was always awesome but the more we tried to have more kids we couldnt. she developed poly ovarian cysts and cant have babies. we did great for a number of years. then it got to where if she couldnt get pregnant there was no need to have sex. when we would be in public and seen a newborn baby I knew my life was gonna be hell for a few days cause she wanted another baby so bad. we went like you for about a year no sex. we had been together for about 10 years. well long story short i was 31 and a cute little blonde where i worked showed me some attention and I had a fling and left my wife and child behind to go with this 22 year was a sexual dynamo. after I left my wife the thing with the cutie lasted a month and she was on to another. I was crushed not only had i been and deserved it but I realized at that time what I had done . I abandoned my wife and child. and there was no putting it back its been 5 years since all this happened . I still hate myself everyday for what I did. every relationship ive had since has failed because I cant let go of the past. I just lost the new love of my life because of my insecurities .

I dont know if this helps at all but before you leap think about my life and what it did to me . cheating will destroy your soul your heart. ask yourself do you love her? can you get counseling? you must love her your still there.

You want her to be less tired?

Try doing the dishes, vacuuming the floor and watching the kids so she can go out and have a girls' day, or even a whole weekend to herself. Arrange for her to go sit in a hotel with her friends and relax for a change.

Even if you think she doesn't know you were cheating, sounds like subconsciously she knows something is up. Because if she's not getting sex from you, she's getting it elsewhere too.

Are you helping her with the everyday things she has to do? Do you help with the children, laundry, washing dishes? If she is tired she may be overextending herself. She may resent you or is just not interested in sex any longer. Cheating is never the answer. If your wife would agree, marriage counseling with a therapist or minister could help you uncover the reason you sex life has suffered and then you could work on it. Stay with her because you have too much invested and work this thing out. Not doing anything would not help you with your sex life.

Well, there is always an option that you wife will go live on the streets post-divorce. This is not hard to engineer if you have time to properly plan a divorce and enlist proper help.

You need to talk to her and explain that daily sex is your physiological need. If it's not met by her, it will have to be met somewhere else. If she thinks the problem is with you, here's an opportunity to try to work it out. If this is truly her health, then she should allow you to have a girlfriend. If your explanation falls on deaf ears, start working of the stuff in the first paragraph above.

Have you talked to her about this?

Does she know you are thinking of leaving?

Sounds you guys need to sit down and talk about this.

Sex is very important in a relationship.

Plan a special evening away from the kids have a dinner etc. open your heart to your wife and tell her how you feel.

You will either reafirm your love for her setting her at ease and open the romance door.

OR

She will say she is done and you can work on what steps to take next.

Maybe counseling

Maybe divorce

maybe saucy love

I dunno

but you can not blind side this woman.

the way out? you have two children and a wife. The only way out is together making it work. You are ready to walk out on your family just because your not getting enough sex and attention? I suggest walking a da yor two in your wifes shoes so you can see how she feels. ultimatly this will give her a nice break and maybe then she will have some energy. Have you considered a babysitter and rekindling the flame you once had. besides if you had your sack ripped off twice and replaced dont you think you would be scared of sex for a while to?

You are in a very difficult situation indeed & one endured by many men after their wives have produced children. It is the cause of many an affair and broken marriage for which the husband is blamed. Rejection can cause all sorts of problems

The fact is, it takes two to make and two to break. Always.

The only thing I can suggest is Counselling and if she won`t agree with that then the answer is with you but please consider your children - as should your wife;. a marriage break up can cause devastation to children.

I feel very sorry for you, I hope you find a way to resolve your situation.

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