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What would you do in this living situation?

I'd like to receive some opinions and even advice, if you have some.

I'm a 52 year old woman, currently on disability. I moved out west to become roommates with a friend i'd known online for 10 years. I live in a room (which is a drywalled, finished garage with a big picture window), and it's very nice. I pay rent, keep my area clean and help around the house.

A few months ago, i went back home to help my son and his family with a crisis situation. All is well there now, and i've returned to my home.

Since i've been back, my roommate can't be anything but grumpy and aggressive. The other day we were taking our dogs out for a run, and on the way there, they started whining. She immediately slammed on the brakes. My dog went flying into the dashboard. Fortunately they were ok, but my back has been killing me since. I told her what i thought of her little stunt, and she said, "ok go on, tell me all about it" in a smug way, as if it were my fault and as if slamming on brakes for no reason is normal.

On the way home, she tail gaited the car in front of us (down a twisty mountain road).

She's been mean, snappy and a pain in the butt in general. She has great expectations of me, as well. She expects me to sit upstairs in her stinky living room (she smokes and never cleans) and watch tv. I'm not that big on tv, and hate cigarettes, so i don't do it.

She pouts, and whines and complains about "being alone all the time"... when her actions and habits are repulsive.

Last night, she went to the grocery store and bought me all sorts of food - as if it would make up for the abuse, or make me want to gravitate upstairs to her smelly living area.

I've been trying to adjust to her ways, but she wants someone to control and she thinks that constitutes a friendship. We all know it does not.

I don't have the means to get another apartment. I've given all my furniture and household belongings to my kids. I was thinking that, if i might talk with a social worker, they could help.

Of course, i have every intention to pay rent, and save money for a deposit, etc. But i can't afford $1000 a month.

Any other ideas?

Update:

sorry, somehow i put this into the wrong section. i can' be nutty like that!

3 Answers

Relevance
  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I'm a fan of direct communication and taking control of our own lives and not playing victim to circumstances...tell her that the reason you don't sit and visit with her is because the smell is too strong for you. If there are problems between you, talk about them.

    And if the living situation continues to not work out, find another place. There are always options. You could provide live-in care for someone or check roommate share ads. If you are able to pay rent here, you will be able to pay rent somewhere else. Even if I had to take out a small loan, I would to move into a better situation and find some peace.

  • 1 decade ago

    I have been a C.N.A. / Caregiver for many yrs. Perhapse something is worng with your roommate that she dosen't even know.( ALZ, Dementia !?) Does your roommate have a Dr.? Try to get her/him to one. Driving that way is dangerous, to you and him/her. Maybe talking to a social worker would be best. The social worker may have sources that can help.

    Source(s): My working experience.
  • 1 decade ago

    -did you try roommate finders,craigslist ( be careful with CL tho) or local ads ? alot of the ads are free to put in or check out

    -either that or try to set your current living arrangement straight

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