Help! Our adopted stray has tried to bite my boyfriend and he's furious... I'm so scared for both of them!?

Question

I took in a stray, purebred Miniature Pinscher just over 2 months ago.  I found her on the street and she was scared, cold, hungry, growling, defensive, covered with fleas and dropping worms out of her bottom. (Swell.)  

After a few hours she was calm and seemed very sweet. The second night, however, she had decided to cuddle in my lap; I was crying and sad; my boyfriend came over to hug me, and she jumped up, growled, and tried to bite him in the face.

I corrected her, putting her down on the ground in a submissive position.  For the past 2+ months she has steadily improved.  She's sweet, cuddly, funny and friendly. I take her for walks and she behaves very well around strangers (dogs and people.)   She seems to love my boyfriend (who is very, very wary of her and took until just recently to warm up to her.) She's taken to snuggling in his lap as well as mine, and follows both of us around all the time.  But because of her behavior that one time at the very beginning, he wanted to give her up, and it took much negotiating and pleading to keep her at all.  

So, 2 months later, well fed, de wormed, clean and happy, in our living room with her toys and seemingly happy, she does almost the exact same thing - AGAIN.  She's on my lap, I'm petting her, boyfriend's next to me, I lean over to kiss him and here comes snarly biting machine.  

He's furious and to make matters worse he responded horribly, throwing an item at her and acting like he was going to kick her.  I tried the same thing with putting her down and reprimanding her but I truthfully don't know what to do.  My boyfriend is furious and says she'll "never change" and "never stop" and I'm choosing her over him.  In the meantime she's terrified to go back in the room with him and spent an hour cowering in a back room under a table.  

Can anyone help put us on the right track?  I love my boyfriend but this is so driving a wedge between us; he won't meet me halfway with working with the dog or rehabilitating her, taking the tack of "your dog=your responsibility.  Not to mention I don't know where to start with fixing this behavior with the little mini pin. 

PS We did find her original owner thanks to a microchip, and he signed her over to us.  We know from that she's about 4.5, and that she was mostly kept outside with her old owner.

Erica S · Accepted Answer

I would think that her previous owner may have mistreated her, seeing as he was so ready to sign her over, and the poor condition in which you found her.  You mention 'he' signed her over.  Your new baby has a fear of men, or of men getting too close to her 'mama' (you have no idea what that dog saw go in in the previous home).  She is slowly making progress by allowing your BF to hold her, but then when he startles her by moving in too close to you, she goes into protective mode.  Either he needs to stay out of your face when she is in your lap/ beside you, or he needs to slowly get her used to it.  Start by leaving her on the floor to witness him kiss you on occasion.  Or-- he can simply place her on the floor before swooping in for a smooch....

? · Answer

I think she's probably doing one of two things:

1) Trying to protect you from the boyfriend that she knows innately is a jerkwad, because dogs can tell these things, OR

2) Something about the movement of a person above her like that while she's lying down is freaking her out. Time may heal this, or maybe not. What you have to do is, like, NOT bend over her when she's laying in someone's lap. And your boyfriend needs to get this. If he doesn't, he's a jerk, seriously. If the only two times she's acted aggressive is in this exact same situation, I'd say that she's almost definitely afraid of people leaning over her for some reason.

I have a dog that I used to think was 100% mutt, but now I think is a border collie or border collie mix. Border collies are scared of grizzlies. You CANNOT grab their back ends when they don't know you're behind them. They WILL bite you. Not because they are aggressive or fear biters, but because they think you are a grizzly. That's just the way that they are - so you just have to, you know, NOT grab them from behind. It's pretty simple.

Sarah R. · Answer

First of all you should think about it long and hard you have got to find out whether your boyfriend will be with you forever if not then keep the dog if you think you will get married or have kid(s) with him then you should find a new home for the dog or take the dog to obedience school also think about if the dog was abused by a man before also see how your boyfriend acts around your dog(s) that is the way he will probably act around your kid(s) if you guys decide to make things a little more permanent.

Peachykeen · Answer

Sorry I'm on the side of the dog. What she is doing is protecting what she most loves is you. Yes she is being possessive too. One easy solution is put the dog down on the floor when you hug or kiss your boyfriend, that lets her know you are in control. This poor pup has been through the mill who knows what horrors she has been through. Do not allow your boyfriend threaten or be cruel to her. She will not forget it and it will not bode well for developing a better relationship between them. It is kind of silly your boyfriend is jealous of the dog. You are wonderful person for loving and taking in a stray! Good luck to you.

East Dallas · Answer

It sounds to me like your dog is expressing dominant behavior.  Did you invite the dog to sit in your lap, or does it just get in your lap wherever he feels like it?
She should really only get in your lap when invited.
Sometimes a dog will demonstrate that a certain human is it's property by sitting on the person.  She's trying to protect her property, you!
Is she afraid of your boyfriend, or does she growl at him at other times?
Are these the only 2 times she's shown any aggression?
Is she food possessive?  Toy possessive?

It's possible to work these issues out, but it's gonna take some additional information and possibly a professional trainer.

Dogmom CA · Answer

If he cannot understand that this dog has been abused, and needs help, not blame, I'd get rid of the boyfriend! What comes next? You're choosing your friends over him? You're choosing your child over him? He's the one choosing not to participate! Dump the jerk, keep the dog. The dog has a much better chance of changing than the jerk!

Anonymous · Answer

Well it seems the dog is protective over you.Maybe the dog was abused before you found it.As far as your boyfriend goes if hes this impatient with a dog, just imagine if you had kids.

Silver · Answer

You've got a lot of good answers on here all saying the same thing...I gave everyone a thumbs up...haha.  Hope you follow the advice and things work out well for you!

B · Answer

She is being protective of you and she may have not like males. She could have been mis-treated by men. And he cant respond like that as it will make the dog worse. Just be patient and get the dog used to him by letting him play or pet her without you and holding her, just remember to supervise in case she snaps again and he gets angry) eventually they will be fine. She just needs to get used to him and know he is not there to hurt her.
I have a dog that we adopted and she is the same with my mum and hates all males. She snaps at me if i get to close to my mum if shes there and she is very weary of my bf.

not important · Answer

I'm gonna be honest, dogs are GREAT judges of character.
If i had to pick between my dog and a boyfriend, the one going to the doghouse would be the boy lol (but my dog loves my bf, i dont date jerks so its not a problem)

Your BF has to understand that she was abused and he has to have patience.

God bless you for taking in and rehabilitating a poor defenseless animal.
You're a great person!

Trending News

Help! Our adopted stray has tried to bite my boyfriend and he's furious... I'm so scared for both of them!?

12 Answers