Advise? I read my husband the riot act today and now I feel horrible.?

This is pretty confusing, and you're lacking some key information here.

First of all, you both sound incredibly immature. I know you don't want rude answers, and I'm not trying to be rude, but I can't exactly give you an honest answer without telling you that the both of you were acting immature. There are more mature ways to deal with arguments, for both of you. Swearing at him and telling him to grow up isn't mature. And him making snarky and sarcastic comments isn't mature either. It sounds like BOTH of you need to grow up, learn how to communicate, and talk to each other like human beings who care about each other.

Anyway, you're clearly apart. How long has he been away? A few weeks? Months? What are we talking about here? If it's been a while, and if he gets discharged, then, yes, I think he should be coming home to you first, not his mother. You are his wife, and you should be his first priority. Not his mommy or his electronics. He needs to understand that. He can come home for a few weeks, then go to his mother's. He can come home, then his mother can visit you guys and bring his stuff. He can come home, and then maybe both of you can go to his mother's. Who knows. But he should be coming home first, I think.

As for the debit card, I don't have the foggiest idea what you were talking about. Did you call the bank? Did you ask if money was taken out or spent? That would be the smartest thing to do. I don't know him so heck if I know if he was telling the truth about it or not. The smart thing to do would be to call the bank and to ask why it got declined. Sometimes my card gets declined when the metallic strip is wearing off and they have to manually enter the numbers. So I'd call the bank first if for some reason you don't believe him. But it's really a bad sign that you don't even trust your own husband enough when it comes to your account.

As for your feelings about his mother. Alright, alright, mother in laws can be horrible. We all know that. You don't need to act like a big baby about it though (again, not trying to be rude, just being honest). If you don't like her, fine, but she's your family now, and she'll always be his family. So play nice. Don't be so emotional and irrational about things. If you're off talking to your husband about his mother this way, no wonder he's not being so nice to you and he's siding with his mother. It sounds hostile, argumentative, and angry. If she's hard to deal with, play nice. When she does something, tell your husband about it. But don't fly off into a rant about how his mother is so horrible. Tell him, word for word, what she said or did. Explain to him why what she did was wrong, how it hurt you made, you feel, etc. You're much more likely to get a response out of him if you approach it level headed and rationally rather than hostile and argumentative and overly emotional.

Anyway, I do think you over reacted. I think you're both stressed from being apart. He should come home to you, and he may not have had anything to do with the card, but you are both acting like babies when you are arguing with each other like this. I would suggest apologizing to him over this whole fiasco and explaining to him that you just want him to come home to you.

It's normal to feel guilty when you go ape **** on someone, even if you know in your heart of hearts, that you had a reason to be angry.

Ask yourself this; do you feel guilty for yelling at him, and making him feel bad, OR do you feel guilty for losing your cool and acting like a psycho? With me, it's usually because I snapped out, and behaved like a lunatic, and once you do that, the other person wins. Even if they're wrong, they can always point the finger at you and call you "crazy". I usually don't care about the other person feeling "hurt", because the reason I got so mad in the first place was that they hurt ME.

You shouldn't say sorry. He should want to be with you and his child. If someone really loves you, NOTHING will keep them from you. You have a problem on your hands, and you are going to have to be incredibly strong.

I would start by finding out where the money went. I would then arrange for his belongings to be shipped to your home.

Did you call the bank and see what purchases were made on the card? Someone might have gotten your information somehow.

I do think you overreacted a tad and you should call and apologize. I understand you don't know where the money is, but you should have had a rational conversation with your husband instead of yelling like that.

Also, I am marrying a momma's boy too. (He calls her at least 5 times a day) She dislikes me because of course, I am taking away her baby boy, but sometimes we have to put up with these things or be passive agressive. haha.

It sounds like you are really on edge with good reason. You just had a baby, your husband is gone, and you want to feel that you and your son are top priority to him. I see nothing wrong with his mother sending his stuff to your address and him coming home to you. Sounds like you are cut off from your husband and this is hurting you big time, plus his divided loyalties has you seething. Identify the source of your pain and share it with him in a letter, with your apology for name calling.

Hope you have someone to help with the baby so you can take a long hot bath, go for a walk or just get some rest. You deserve it. And your baby is adorable.

So, his mom spent the money or there is just a glitch with the debit card and you freaked and brought up the mother issues? Need clarification about that before I could give a concise answer.

Sounds like you had good reason to be mad but the way you let him know was in bad taste. Next time you will have to explain your position calmly.

WHY DO WOMEN CONTINUE TO MARRY "BOYS"??!!!!!!!!

Why didn't you marry a MAN??!!!!!! YOu married a boy, a mamma's boy, the judge him for it?????? What sense does that make?? That's like buying a dog, then beating it because it behaves LIKE A DOG!!!!!

You married a mamma's boy after you knew he was one - this is YOUR FAULT - not his.