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Why is he being so distant? Help!?
My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 months, and we've known each other for seven years. He normally doesn't keep things from me, I've always been one of the few (and by few I mean 2 or three) people he can talk to.. but I can't help but have a weird feeling about this.
The past couple times we've hung out have been pretty bland. He wasn't very talkative. We've barely spoken in the past week, aside from the occasional "hi" via IM or text. From what I'm told, he has basically just been working and sleeping - but that's coming from him. He DOES sometimes sleep a lot, but not for 24 hours.
I think putting an emphasis on his struggles with clinical depression might be important, but honestly, I'm coming up with any excuse to make myself think something other than "is he cheating on me?"
Basically, I'm worried that he's either cheating on me or it's a health-related issue. Any input?
I should also add that whenever I say something like "we've barely talked lately" he immediately objects and dismisses it. Wtf?
He cheated on his last ex with ME... plus with how long I've known him... I've seen him with a handful of girls, and the whole time he was with the same girl.
YES!!! Basically the whole point of this question is that I think he's not telling me something. This is really hard because we are also best friends, and I can usually read his source of depression like children's rhyming books. It doesn't quite entirely seem like it's depression though, it feels like there's something more to it than that.
He and I have a mutual acquaintance and I told him that my boyfriend had been ignoring me and our friend said that he noticed something was weird about the way he's been acting.
I am trying to figure out how I can get him to open up to me. I'm really worried about him, with how severely depressed I have seen him, and how he's been so distant.. he's told me some things where that makes me very very nervous. I don't know what to do, I can't get him to talk to me.
I asked him to come over tonight and he said that he would, I was going to use that opportunity to try and get him to tell me what's going on.
16 Answers
- Anonymous1 decade agoFavorite Answer
Okay well that is odd. But you seriously need to talk. because there seems to be a communication problem. and if you didn't know communication is key and without it you have nothing. so you need to make sure you guys sit down and talk about this. dont accuse him so quick of cheating though. guys hate that. What's done in the dark will come to the light. Meaning if he has done something, don't worry it will soon be revealed.
hope i have helped
good luck hun
- 1 decade ago
It's hard to know why someone pulls away like that. I would think the same thing you are, either they are cheating (especially with his history) or they are having some fairly serious issues with depression or some kind of crisis.
Maybe you can just say, "What's going on? I've noticed a difference and I'm worried about your wellbeing. I want to help if I can, but I can't if I don't know what's going on." Maybe he'll tell you. If not, then there's not much you can do. If he insists on staying in that bad place, you may have to move on and find someone more honest.
Good luck!
- 1 decade ago
I dont think the reason for his distance is cheating, most men dont get distant when they cheat, they're too cold hearted. Its probably the depression, a lot of depressed people push away the people close to them because they are afraid of being judged. The more you bug him about it the more he'll push you away, so give him his space and if he doesnt come around then tell him you need a bf who takes interest in you and if he cant change then leave him, its only been 3 months, you'll get over it quickly
- 1 decade ago
You should talk to him before jumping to conclusions. Try to set a date for the two of you to have some alone time, tell him how you feel and then he will open up to you. But you should trust him, if you have known him for the past seven years then you should be able to.
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- 1 decade ago
talk to him. I dont think he is cheating on you but he may be confused, struggling or depressed about something. i know i said the same thing as everyone else but i really dont think he is cheating on you. he would say more in an im so that he could cover up what he did.
- 1 decade ago
Let him know what you feel. write him a mail or just ring his phone then talk to him set a date or a day that you will be alone can cant talk the F**** over being like that wasn't helping you or your relationship i mean Do something!!! If you love him do whatever it takes to clear everything that makes your relationship blur...
- IPhone5Lv 61 decade ago
Talk to him, what you think doesn't matter. What he knows is what's true. He may be having a tough time with something, but then again I don't know either. You should talk iwth him though, its the only way you can find out.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
How long has it been going on? I would say issues though. Guys like that don't really sleep around.
- 1 decade ago
you could ask his friends if he's been weird around them...or just try talking to him about it, just tell him ya wanna spend more time together or do something together...if you think it's stress related why not plan a nice evening to de-stress him? :)
- 1 decade ago
it really could be his depression, maybe hes subconsciously trying to reach out by ignoring you. Either that or hes just not that into you.
