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ChrisNY asked in Social ScienceSociology · 1 decade ago

Is this a sign of social attraction?

I was in a class today talking to a guy, who I would call a 'school' friend, someone I enjoy talking to when I do, and definitely someone I admire. A few seconds into the conversation when I made eye contact with him (which is something I did not used do when talking to him) I noticed that his eyes had gotten large (even puppy like) and his pupils had dilated. They were normal before we started talking.

The room was very well lit, so I don't think his eyes were reacting to dim light. I am also a very nice person, so I don't see how this could have been a reaction to fearing me.

Other times I talked to him I didn't make eye contact and his eyes were normal. I even sometimes think he thinks I hate him because I never used to be as social as I am now and I didn't act like I wanted to socialize with him.

Is this just standard eye contact or is this something psychologically different, such as a reaction to me actually making eye contact with him and possibly liking him as a friend?

Update:

I am straight, and as far as I know, he is also straight. Some of his actions have been questionable though. Sometimes he does strange things around me, jokingly. A couple times he will be sitting next to me, put his hand on my thigh, and stare at me, possibly into my eyes. I never truly thought he was gay though.

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    maybe *more* than "social" attraction:

    1) "How do someone's eyes tell you if they are attracted to you? Their pupils dilate. The more they dilate, the more they are attracted to you. This is a completely involuntary reaction. We are not even aware we are doing it and we cannot control it. But whenever we have feelings of love toward another person ... our pupils dialate. This same response occurs when we are sexually excited.

    Researchers have shown that when sexually explicit films are shown to men, their pupils dilate to almost three times their normal size. Interestingly, when the same films are shown to women, their pupils dilate even more.

    Enlarged pupils--the first sign of physical attraction and sexual excitement--also trigger a response that begins the sexual relationship. Dilated pupils in two people are a signal of mutual appeal that makes both of them want to be more intimate, closer to each other, to touch and hold one another."

    2) "So what can we tell from the eyes? Is it possible to tell if someone likes you? One sign that’s hard to fake is pupil dilation. Generally speaking, when we’re experiencing pleasure (be it physical or psychological – such as seeing something or someone we like) our pupils dilate (grow larger). Pupils also dilate in other circumstances: when entering a dark room, our pupils dilate to let more light in, and certain drugs (prescription or otherwise) can cause pupil dilation. Interestingly, we also tend to find dilated pupils attractive – that’s why cute fluffy animals in cartoons always have huge, shiny black pupils (think of Bambi) and why women used to drip Belladonna (also known as the poisonous deadly nightshade) into their eyes to cause their pupils to dilate. So if the object of your affections looks towards you and you notice his or her pupils suddenly dilate you can be fairly sure the attraction’s mutual. The eyes can tell us something useful after all."

  • 1 decade ago

    Studies have shown that when girls look at someone they are attracted to, their pupils dilate. I'm not sure if that goes for men as well though.

    I'm assuming you are a guy as well? Is this guy openly gay? Does he know that you're gay? If so, then I would say yeah it's likely he may be attracted to you. If he says he's straight, I would be more cautious and to take things as slow as possible. You wouldn't want to ruin a potential friendship by letting you're your hormones get the best of you.

    EDIT:

    Ooooohh, you're straight. Alright, changes my answer now. haha.

    So you're wondering if he sees you as potentially a good friend? Not more than a friend or anything, right?

    I know dilated pupils relate to attraction, so there is a strong possibility he's attracted to you. Just take it a day at a time. If he begins to get flirty or anything and you're not looking to be more than friends with him, subtly hint to him that you're straight. Don't do that too soon though, because if he isn't coming on to you, he might be weirded out that you suspected that.

  • Anonymous
    6 years ago

    RE:

    Is this a sign of social attraction?

    I was in a class today talking to a guy, who I would call a 'school' friend, someone I enjoy talking to when I do, and definitely someone I admire. A few seconds into the conversation when I made eye contact with him (which is something I did not used do when talking to him) I noticed that...

  • 1 decade ago

    Sometimes it can be a recognition of similarities in Character and experiences that each of you have recognised in one another.

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  • 1 decade ago

    might be ur imagination. or he might be gay.

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