"Non-traditional" ladies: Are men really intimidated?

I've worked in non-traditional jobs most of my life, and wished men could have left it at friends only! So much for men wanting demure traditional women. I have to agree with another poster, it hasn't been my self assurance or independence or my job that has intimidated others, but my education has at times made ppl wonder if they were in my "class". I grew up poor, so I refuse to judge ppl by their pocketbook or education, I want to be around intelligent, thoughtful mature ppl. Many ppl can get a degree, but a degree doesn't make you bright, fun, or sexy. My bf was worried he wasn't smart enough for me, so I asked him to take an IQ test-his IQ is 10 pts higher than mine...and I have a couple more degrees than he does, and no, I"m not intimidated, lol. He says he's lucky to have me, and I say I'm lucky to have him.

I don't think men find confidence or independence intimidating. I've never really heard anyone say that -- loud and overbearing people aren't appealing at all, but self-sufficiency and intelligence are good qualities to most people.

But, if some traditional people do say that, I guess it's only a reaction to feminists calling traditional women doormats. I'm not sure I agree with your definition of a non-traditional woman -- I'm independent financially, I have a career, I'm educated... but I'm also quite feminine, have traditional values and I plan to be a stay at home mother. Traditional women can be just as strong and work just as hard in the home as a career woman does.

Few men would seek out a weak-willed or emotionally dependent woman, but most see femininity as an attractive quality and will feel naturally protective towards their partner. Most men like a bit of both.

I don't think I've ever met a man who was intimidated because I was a "strong and independent" woman. I have had men respond rather stupidly when I tell them what I do for a living. I have gotten the "You must be smart, huh?" line a few too many times to not believe that some men aren't intimidated by a woman with a higher level of education then they have.

I eventually started restricting my dating pool to other graduate students and didn't have a problem. My current bf doesn't have an advanced degree, but is very intelligent (he probably is more knowledgeable on a number of subjects than I am) and has no problem with my level of education.

I have never had a hard time dating/meeting men... my non-traditionalism has worked in my favor more often than not.

i split the cost on everything...most men find that highly appealing. i don't expect special treatment, and therefore am extremely grateful when a man does something nice for me, and i always try and return the favor. it's amazing how many guys find this kind of behavior unusual.

on par with this though is that i don't really believe that strength and femininity are mutually exclusive. i believe that you can both really enjoy being a woman and still be out knee deep in snow, side by side your husband, shoveling the car out. but then, we do things differently out here. women are expected to be strong and tough.

In general no..thought I have come across a few that are fine with such a lady now. However they expect them to "settle" down in the long run...aka that want the traditional lady who lets them where the pants.

Personally, I never had any problems getting a man...in fact there where a lot of times. I had trouble staying single when I probably should have been.

In all the men I dated and have known...I've only known two men to really come out and said it.

The first was my boyfriend my senior year of high school...he was an army guy. When I announced that I was going to join the military....He said "No" (ha)...one huge fight later...it was very simple he hated women in the military(specifically that they could do his job as well as him), and if I joined that would be the end of "us". (Guess what happened!)

Second...was my father n law...who is very much a traditionalist, and who's wife is the real meaning of wilting flower... actually said words he was intimidated by me. That I wasnt anything like the women he was used to. (we have made up now...well kinda working on it)

So I do think it's around...but no I dont think it should stop any of us from being true to ourselves. ;p

Interesting. For some reason I am thinking of Cat Stevens' - Hard Headed Woman.

I'm looking for a hard headed woman,

One who will take me for myself,

And if I find my hard headed woman,

I won't need nobody else, no, no, no.

I'm looking for a hard headed woman,

One who will make me do my best,

And if I find my hard headed woman

I know the rest of my life will be blessed -- yes, yes, yes.

I have have always had strong women in my life, They are the only type who appeal to me. My wife spent most of the last decade as CEO of a very successful multi award winning media business, has now been headhunted by an international corporation and spends more time in aircraft that she does at home, but I am proud of her and supportive of her. My mother was a strong woman (a magistrate) and all of my daughters are successful career women. (Bar the youngest who hasn't finished uni yet.)

I find women who aren't, strong, independent, adventurous and extremely intelligent, to be dull. I'd rather live alone than with a woman lacking an intellect and ambition, no matter how sexy she is.

growing up in a rough urban area has made me immune to being intimidated by a human being i still have fear but i'm not intimidated by a human being. This how thing is new to me men being intimidated of a strong woman then again i was raise by a strong woman so were most of my friends. Then again im only 20 years old so i have yet to evidenced this kind of behaviour. I still have lot to learn of this world

Good looking women don't have any trouble finding men to date unless they have really horrible personality disorders. Even that does not necessarily stop them. Good looking women who have one or two male like qualities, such as a typically male profession, an avid interest in sports, etcetera are generally considered to be even more desirable by all but the most insecure men.

If I'm pursuing men, if I try hard enough I can usually get some interest of the opposite sex. No men falling at my feet kind of deal, but anyone who says that actually happens anyways is lying.

Although it does have some merit. Most men do not approach me. In a setting where I'm not looking for men (such as at work), men will more often than not approach the passive women over the more assertive women like myself.

So the idea that all men hate non-traditional women is pretty false. But the idea that men will not approach a woman that they feel equal or outclassed to has a lot of merit. I've had more boyfriends and lovers than I've had men approach me.

I prefer a Strong woman, I don't know about anyone else but that's what I look for (your backbone). BUT you cant be too butch, you gotta be down with dressing up to go out, but also down to play some football or going riding, and maybe throw in a couple better moves then I have HELLS YEAH! In all honesty in these days there is no difference, do what you wanna do and you'll find what your looking for