do you like my opening?

please be honest... and i know its long

I could hear my heart racing in my chest; like a drum in my ears. As I reached the top of the stairs I had to catch hold of the banister to stop myself falling back down again. Shaking like a leaf I stumbled into my room and slammed the door. Once it was closed I grabbed onto the handles of my wardrobe and took a few deep breaths to calm myself down. When I was finally calm, and was in control of my shaking, I hurried to shove the contents of my wardrobe into a muddy, battered and over used rucksack and after pulling on an equally trashed pair of trainers and my navy coat I prepared myself for what was downstairs.

I stared down into the darkness below. It was like looking into the bowels of hell, but, it was my only way of escape so I had to enter it. I crept as quietly as possible down the stairs and then, turning the corner, I saw the scene that I’d almost forgotten.

I could see the once green carpet was now soaked in dark red blood, there was so much you could smell it, the whole room looked like a battlefield and there in the centre of it all was the body: lying on his back, white as a sheet and motionless. His hair was matted together with dried blood from the wound. He laid there with one hand, covered in blood, just below his head as if it was trying to stop the bleeding, although he, obviously, failed miserably. He just laid there. I’d never had any experience with the dead, but how would I? I was only ten. Paralysed I just stood there for what seemed like an eternity just staring down at the body, unable to take my eyes off it. Bang! His eyes opened, every nerve in my body jumped to life causing me to jump six feet into the air, he was alive, how could he be alive? I stood there frozen on the outside but fully animated on the inside. At first he just rolled his eyes about trying to work out how he came to be on the floor, then gave up with the effort and closed them again bringing the hand nearest to his head up and wincing in pain as it made contact with the wound. I had to get out. I ran to the door, no longer caring about how much noise I made, I pulled it open and threw myself out into the street.

The sky was black and the only light was the orange glow coming off the street lamps. A cold wind cut through me like a knife making me shudder and pull my coat tightly around me. Quickly, I stumbled down the path and out into the road. I shook with the wind and fear as the trees leaned over the pavement making the shapes of the kind of monsters that I used to see in the fairytales mum read me when I was small. A sudden sound made me scurry into the hedges, trying to make myself as small as possible. “Wha’d’ you want?” the slurred voice made me freeze like a rabbit in the headlights. I looked out through the leaves and saw who the voice came from. A drunk: a tall, stick thin man with a bottle of vodka in one hand while the other was made into a loose fist. He swayed on his feet as he shouted loudly “Wha’d’ you want?” I couldn’t see who he was talking to so I shuffled round, only to see his victim as being a lamppost. I calmed down then and smiled inwardly as I settled back into my hedge. Eventually, after threatening the lamppost, bursting into tears and apologising to the lamppost he took a swig from his bottle and staggered off the other way down the road.

A few moments later I built up the courage to climb out of the hedge. The street was silent now, with just a low whistle as the wind blew. I pulled my anorak around myself again and straightened myself up as I began my long trek. I wasn’t as afraid now but as that feeling left a new one took its place- guilt: what would mum do when she found him gone and him on the floor, what would Annie and Sid say? What would they think? They’d never believe me whatever I said. I had made my choice now and I had to keep going. I could see there faces so clearly in my head now all smiling and happy, though because of what happened I would never see them again. A tear came to my eyes and then more. I needed something anything to take my mind off the empty hole inside me that was threatening to pull me in; into the darkness and never let me out again.

I could see the bright lights ahead of me now lighting my way. I thought for once the future was bright. All the past held was pain, misery and darkness. But now I was in control, I chose what happened and I choose what is going to happen. It wasn’t going to happen tonight and probably not tomorrow, however, one day when I was older I would return and finish what had started. Not tonight, tonight I needed a place to sleep as far away from here as possible. I could see the shine of the city calling me on and I believed that if I could just get there then I could go anywhere. So off I headed into the light but I knew that one day I would be heading back into the darkness.