Had a miscarriage a week ago.... Has anybody else felt this way?

Question

Last Wednesday I had light cramping and a little blood when I went to the bathroom once so I went to the hospital and they just diagnosed me with a urinary tract infection and gave me an ultrasound! I saw my baby for the first time and it was the best moment of my life! I saw it moving around and the heart beating! They also did a internal ultrasound which at first I didn't suspect anything... When I left the hospital (like as soon as I got in my car) I had really bad cramping which I actually think were contractions but I've never felt them before so I thought the pain medicine they prescribed me would take it away...

I could barely sleep I was in so much pain that lasted throughout all of Thursday until 8 o'clock came around... I felt the urge to go potty, went into the bathroom pushed and I felt something coming out of my vagina (TMI sorry...) I knew exactly what it was and fell to the floor screaming!! My mother rushed in and there was blood everywhere and all I could say was "My baby...... help me please! Get it out of the toilet.... Please don't flush my baby" so long story short I went to the hospital and I wasn't sure if my baby had actually went in my toilet or the hospitals because there was so much coming out....

The doctor suggested I have a D&C and I just couldn't do it at first because nobody found the baby in either toilets and I couldn't handle them ripping my baby apart (I don't know what's really done but I assumed it was like an abortion)... 

Anyway it's like I blame myself thinking I stressed too much or cried too hard in the previous week making my cervix start to dialate or something....I blame the doctors for doing the internal ultrasound, for not putting my on a monitor to see if I was having contractions and I blame them for the medicines they gave me and the ones they didn't because I always hear of them giving people medicine to stop labor or putting something on the cervix to keep it from dialating (don't know how its spelt but I will try a cerclause... which they talked about doing for me)...

I feel like I will never have the chance to have a baby now or like if I do get pregnant I will go through it again! It's so hard to handle! I can't get used to not being pregnant anymore! I don't know if I am overreacting or what! I got the ultrasound picture on a shirt, a cell phone cover, I have the picture on my wall! I sleep holding on to the blanket I had for him/her.... I was supposed to go in for another ultrasound last Friday and tomorrow was supposed to be my 4 month check-up:( I don't know how to handle this and I don't know how I am going to deal with the time around the due date! I just want to get pregnant like right away to try takin away some pain! I feel I have to get pregnant like NOW or I will never be ok

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

That's awful. I'm so sorry that happened to you. I think maybe what you need is someone to talk to, or maybe spend some time with to get your mind off of things.. That's a horrible thing to go through, I mean I can't imagine. Don't think that you need to get pregnant right away. Give yourself some time to cope with your loss. It just happened, and I'm sure its a devastating shock. That's not to say that you can't have get pregnant and have a baby eventually, because I'm sure you will make someone a wonderful mom someday. I think what you should do rightnow, is just give yourself some time to heal. Things will come together and happen exactly as they should. Find someone to vent to, who will be there through this for you, k? Good Luck, and I hope everything turns out alright.

Anonymous · Answer

Rushing to get pregnant isn't the answer. You need to take time for this loss. I lost my son at 20 weeks. It's one of the most hard things you'll ever do,especially if you've got a sister in law in the hospital (the same one you're in,five months after the loss) having a baby while you are having an emergency D&C the doctor neglected to do. I'm so so so so sorry for your loss. I understand your anger,I wanted to know why mroe wasn't done to help mine. Then I read that they can't do anything to stop labor that early. My water brok at 20 weeks. I had him about an hour later,if that. Just give yourself time to move past this,don't get pregnant with a "replacement" for this one. I'm now pregnant,and it took me four years after this incident to be able to do it and not totally freak out about it,and I'm still on antidepressants while pregnant because of how nervous I am. Please IM or Email me,I allow that from my profile on yahoo answers. Take care,I'm so sorry for your loss.

Jen · Answer

I know that must have been the worst thing anyone could go through, but just don't blame yourself . I guess your idea is good. Try conceiving again and think of the very positive things, you could look up some cute babies and think about how yours will be or look for names etc. Just be positive.

I can only imagine what you're going through. When I was little I suffered from personality disorder and OCD and had a little rabbit I loved literally like a baby, please, PLEASE think positively and get some help conceiving.

Putting your loss everywhere won't make you feel better. No, you're not over-reacting.

michelle · Answer

It is a very HIGH possibility that she is pregnant if she had sex in the past 3 weeks. That is why the doctor STRESSES that you DO NOT put anything inside of you until you go for your 6 week exam. A woman is VERY fertile right after giving birth, and can get pregnant very easily. So she probably is, especially with the positive pregnancy test. They wouldn't have tested her if the HCG could still be in her system from her giving birth earlier.

Mama Loves Madalyn!&lt;3 · Answer

This actually brought tears to my eyes.
Ive never had anything like this happen to me before.
I would just like to say im so so sorry for your loss!

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Had a miscarriage a week ago.... Has anybody else felt this way?

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