What traits do human "alpha females" exhibit when dating?

Well, first of all, I like to mark my territory so I will usually pee on the guy that I like. I also like to bite and lunge at them randomly. Certain other things involve a ball gag and a cat o' nine tails.

Sometimes they cry. I don't understand what I'm doing wrong.

I can't speak for all alpha females but I make My males wear chastity devices and beat them mercilessly if they ever remove them without my permission.

I also usually keep My males naked when at home, except for their dog collar, and make them eat out of a dog dish. They're in trouble if they hump My leg or furniture but are otherwise encouraged in the behavior.

You might say I'm so alpha that I'm the Leader of the Pack. *howls*

Well...I used to be the typical alpha female but now I don't pursue if the man has rolled up into the 'don't beat me' position. Annnnd I try to not date more than 4 guys at one time anymore.

Annnnd when married I am only allowed to have two side dishes and one main dish..if you know what I mean. Okay..that didn't make sense..it just sounded like I eat a lot..but ...i meant it as in 'men'...

In my experience, they tend to seek out a large gathering of below-average intelligence adult males (usually the best spots are at the local watering hole or a WWF event). Once there, they release a complex pheromone into the air, composed of various scents including beef jerky, Pabst Blue Ribbon, and Radio Shack. As the dominant male of the group emerges, he is struck in the head with a blunt object, extracted of all bodily fluids, and immediately consumed.

According to Celeste's description, I'm definitely not alpha. I might not even be beta.

I was a founding member of Kappa Kappa Pootie in college (KaKa Poots). We would beer bong 12 packs and then smoke a bowl and watch Temptation Island. I was never once the "salsa con queso b*tch" if that says anything about my position in the line-up.

They like to make themselves look nice and have fun with you several times a week, but all of that goes out the window once they say "I do." Or maybe when they have kids. I don't remember the exact moment everything went downhill...

I like to point out their flaws and tease them unmercifully about it. If I can make them cry--they're out. If they start pummeling me in a fit of rage--they're out. It's just a delicate balance.

I just order the cheapest thing IHOP has on the menu and hope not to be date raped.

They pick up the check and then beat me into submission for not paying it.

are a female mullet (moo-lay) & a flannel shirts "traits"