Husband problem....any good opinions pls?

You sound like you have issues with your husband that should have been put to rest long ago. First issue that certainly needs addressed is the disrespect you show to each other. You made it obvious that he disrespects you but you showed that you disrespect his paycheck in comparison. He owes you more than he's giving with the money he spends on trivialities and his family. Secondly his idea of family ties is warped and his sister should leave. To scold you and make fun of you in front of her shows he is denying you dignity. Third issue is your daughter. I don't really understand how you don't pay constant attention to a 3 year old unless shes asleep but apparently he doesn't often supervise her. He needs enlightened. She should be sleeping alone henceforth and if she's not you are empowering your own self abuse and allowing her to have a warped sense of sleeping rituals. Sleeping with a maid? I'll assume you mean in the same room in separate beds but unwise if you want normalcy. Lastly I think you should explore your sense of right and wrong. He is making statements that you are taking to heart that are antiquated and silly and you are questioning your own sensibilities that were probably pretty customary from your childhood. Most people don't have relationships like this because they don't allow them. Now it's your turn to make a change for the better (and usual). It can be done but you will pay hell to change them and may only get part of your terms. Still...part is better than none and from what you say your current situation seems pretty unappealing. It's past time to assert yourself and show you won't be walked on any longer.

And he's a police officer??!! There is NO reason why his sister cannot get a job, at least do her FAIR SHARE of contributing to the fact she is living w/you on YOUR money! And if she leaves he goes w/her? I'd tell him to get the heck out & support the both of them then if that's the way he feels about that little issue. IF he can't even support himself, how in the world is he going to support both of them. He does NOT make any kind of good common sense even, let alone any kind of sense at all. Let him go live w/his whole family if that's the way he honestly feels. I feel he's just blowing smoke w/his stupid justifications. I don't know about your 3 year old daughter waking up ever 3 hours to get milk? Something is not rite about that picture if that's true. A 3 yr. old should NOT be waking up that often during the nite, even 3 MONTH olds don't do that! IF this IS the case, I feel she should be cked. by your Dr. as I don't think that's normal. No, he should NOT "scold" you in front of his sister or anyone for that matter. He honestly sounds like a child himself! I feel there ARE quite a few problems in your family...one big one being your husband himself. He shows no sense of responsibility, & I for one sure wouldn't want him for a back up if he was my "partner" involved w/a crime scene. On that, I kid you not! That's just plain scarey. When you have this second baby, you're actually going to have 4 children to deal with as you're the only adult in the crowd! My opinion? You've got a LOT of problems & far too many situations for a "normal" family setting. I'd take my own 2 children & tell him to leave, or you leave. I don't foresee him changing in any way & I don't feel you're going to get anywhere differently w/him. The ONLY chance you even have a hope for is professional help, & I don't believe that's even a hint of anything he'd ever stoop that low to consider. All the best to you, you've really got your hands way too full...Good luck...:)

I think that this guy has some serious issues. If the 'family' is suffering and he's still pending money on things not going towards taking care of his immediate family (sister not included) than he is immature and selfish. When he threatens to move out with his sister-take him up on it and see what he does-chances are he won't-but don't take him up on the offer unless you are prepared both financial and emotionally for him to walk out. A 3-year-old wakes up a lot, that's a fact of life-he can't control when she wakes up in the middle of the night by scolding her and if he is then he needs some education on children. If he gets jealous by the amount of attention that you are giving your children, this is probably a sign of his insecurity in the relationship and things won't get better without him realizing he needs some help and gets it. I would save up some money and get out of the relationship, because without professional help it will only get worse.

Honestly, you both need counseling because both of you have issues. I'm offering my thoughts below each point you've made.

i. I provide more financially eventhough he gives me some money but its not enough...he spends more for himself, his vehicles and still give money to his parents

You should be working together on finances. Yes, it's important to help family when we can but our own families should never go without to do so.

ii. his sister lives with us and i pay for the food and bills...when i suggest that she gets a job and move out, he gets upset and threatens to move out together with her...he says that if i marry him then the rest of the family comes together with him

He's being an irrational jerk. If his sister is there she should either be helping with expenses or move her butt out.

iii. he slepps separately at night because my daughter wakes up every 3 hours for her milk and he doesnt want his slepp to be disturbed, he likes to scold her also for this

This is insane. A three year old should not be getting up every three hours and be getting rewarded for it with milk or any other attention aside from being put back into their own bed. She needs to be taught to sleep on her own without getting treats in the middle of the night.

iv. he says i pay too much attention to my daughter and that i have to pay less attention to her for the next one coming and that my daughter should slepp on her own bed with the maid

He's correct. A three year old should be sleeping on their own. The whole maid thing is random. Your child shouldn't be sleeping with the maid.

v. he scolds me daily for trivial matters and makes fun of me in front of his sister and they both like to laugh at me

He's way off base and needs to be more considerate, as does his sister. The sister needs to be put in her place, as does he.

Honey because he is a police officer mean nothing. You would not go to hell for leaving him. Your child should be sleeping in her own bed. My mother always said I can do bad by myself. No one has a right to treat you like dirt. They would only do what you allow them to do. Since, it tax time look into getting your own. And leave him there with his sister. Trust it maybe a struggle but at least you would and could rebuild yourself respect. If anything the bible also states,the husband is to love the lord first and foremost and the wife comes before his family members. Be strong and regain yourself esteem. Enjoy your life you only live once.

Don't let him treat you like this. You are a human, not a baby making machine. Of course, your 3 year old needs attention, but it is time that she slept in her own bed. I don't care if your husband is the president, that gives him no right to mentally abuse you.

He sounds like a jerk and if I were you I would not put up with it. Slip it under the rug and it will just get worst. I don't care that he is a cop, his intimidating techniques might work on the druggies out on the street, but don't let him treat you or your kids like that.