Would you ever take your first love back after they left you twice for another person?

Question

Hi all,

Your friend here needs a little help and advice. Here is the situation ok, I have been dating my ex-girlfriend for the past 6 years. She is about to turn 21 years old in 2 months. Our relationship has always been solid. We get along so well and always make each other laugh constantly. Been though so many ups and downs regarding her family not wanting her to date and such but we fought through it. She moved in for the last 2 years for college. Our relationship has always been great when we were together. The only thing is that she wanted to party more and be more social and going to clubs and all. To me, I told her, all that really doesn't matter because I have the love of my life next to me and that is all I needed to make me happy. I'm not a drinker or smoker. She wanted me to start drinking when we go hang out with friends or when they come over sometime, but I choose not to.

Last year at around this time when we were still living together, I found out that she cheated on me with a guy and she later found out that he has a kid already. I sort of force things to get her to come back and she did. It lasted two months with this guy and I got her to moved back in with me.

Everything was great, we started going out. Just last year alone, we went to Disneyland, SeaWorld, San Diego beach, Water rafting, Snowboarding, santa cruz beach boardwalk, etc.. She's always happy when we're together.

Then all of a sudden, on Tuesday night at around 11:30pm three weeks ago, I finished taking a shower and came to bed, she said while laying her head the other way, "have you notice that something has been bugging me for the past 3 months." I said, "no, what is it." long story short, she said she's attracted to this guy that came to the salon to get a hair cut. While she was cutting his hair, he told her that he's a Stanford MBA graduate, vice president of Well's Fargo, said that he got $150,000 bonus from his job last year, he said he have traveled to Thailand, Bora Bora, etc. He said if your my girlfriend I would take you to all these places. He told her that she doesn't have to work if she is his wife and he also drives the latest BMW edition. So she is fascinated about all these stuff. Then I help her moved all her stuff back to her mom place, She's dating this guy right now as we speak. He's 29 years old 6'2.

So I'm very depressed and starting hanging out with my friends more often, everybody was very shock that we broke up. I showed them a picture of who she's dating and they said, "I know this guy, my wife knows this guy, they went to high school together, she know where he was rasied, he dated so many girls." One of my friend said at first they feel sorry for me, but after seeing this guy, they said they feel sorry for my ex-girlfriend, they said you shouldn't compare yourself to this guy, your a much better person, he's a con-artist, he dated about 10 girls already, he take girls from their boyfriend and dump them and the girl run back to their ex always.

So my question is, should I take my ex back if she ever ask me back. Right now I still love her and will always. She ask me, "you don't hate me after I have done this to you." I told her that my love for her is unconditional and that I don't see myself ever again loving another girl as much as I love her. I do love her very much. She also told me, that her boyfriend right now is very boring and that he doesn't make her laugh like I do. She said she attracted to him for his looks and wealth. She told me that he's going to buy her a $90,000 car, asked her to engage, and said she's going to get her passport because this guy is taking her to tahiti.

Have you guys been through the same situation and end up successful. I really do want to work things out with her and I don't want my heartbroken again because it really hurt. What can I do to make it last? Anything will help, and thank you very much for taking the time to read my story.

jude · Accepted Answer

it breaks my heart to read your story. but if she didn't want u after she met him, and was willing to dump u for a few dollars, she will do it again to u. if you take her back u will have many heartaches, because of her choices in life. someone who really loves u will not do this because they would not want to see u suffer. truth is there will always be someone she will think is better than u. if u do ever take her back, u need to let her suffer for awhile with the choice she made, don't let her off so easily. stand up for yourself, show her there are consequences, if u don't she will have learned nothing from her choice.don't let her believe that she can shred your heart in pieces and u will still be waiting there like some doormat for her when she is finished with him. nice guys like u are the very ones who get used like this, because they won't stand up for themselves. myself if this were done to me and it has been, i would not take that person back, because there is always going to be someone else, there will always be another man that catches her eye, who she thinks has more. how sad u think u have to have this girl, and that u can't love anyone else.

? · Answer

I would not take her back in a million. I"m not a thing. I'm a person with feelings. I'm not second best. I'm not the back burner just in case you don't have anything on the front burner. She can make her own choices. She chose to date a guy with money. Once she is tired of that she is not allowed to just come back. Once she leaves she is gone. She is 21 and very immature. Not sure what she wants in life and will probably be an unhappy person for a long time until she figures out what she really wants out of life. Don't let her use you again.

miabella · Answer

No, dont take her back, start thinking about your own life instead of getting wrapped up in hers. You both got together far, far too young and she is now experiencing the want to be with other guys as she would have done at 15,16,17 etc.,
You need to concentrate on your own life now and put all this down to young love, just because you got together when she was 14 or so does not mean you have to spend your life with her, all you are feeling at the moment is a loss of what you are used to, its not love.
Move on and meet other women you will have a much better time than worrying about things.
Good luck.

Joey · Answer

You really need to dump this girl, permanently.  She obviously doesn't love you if she's going to take up with anyone who's got more money, etc.  She sounds very shallow and stupid to me.  Why would you want to be with someone like that?  Let her know that she is not welcome back in your life.  I can guarantee that she will continually do this to you over and over and over again.  Put your foot down and move on.  It will hurt for a while but you'll get over it soon enough.

Mom · Answer

i understand that you may love her but it seems she felt trapped and unsure about the things around her(mainly because you too had dated for so long at such a young age). i think in most cases,yours included, dating too young too long ends up badly. if she would not have cheated i would say take her back because she learned what she really wanted after she dated the rich guy but she cheated which is one of the biggest no nos in my book. in the end its ultimately up you but its hard totally forgive and forget someone for cheating and never knowing if when things get bad if they will do it again.

radkandi2001 · Answer

if you enjoy having your heart broken than continue taking her back... she doesnt see you as good enough for her... and she will most likely keep looking for someone "better" than you...


there is a chance that she will eventually realize that a marriage , a relationship, a life worth living can be with you, but thats only a possiblility, and there would most likely be a few more times that this would happen...

she is not currently in love with you.. it sounds to me that she loves you, but just not the same way you love her....

Anonymous · Answer

Honey, how many times are you going to let her break your heart?
If she really loved you, she wouldn't break up with you. Forget about her. Move on, and look for a girl who only cares about YOU, not always trying to upgrade.

She doesn't sound like a very nice person.

Anonymous · Answer

Nope. I wouldn't even take her back after she left the first time. You can do much better with another girl then someone who's constantly tryin to get out of the relationship.

BikerChick · Answer

I DID NOT BOTHER TO READ YOUR NOVEL - I do not CARE about any of the details you have chosen to cloud your rational thoughts with - - the ANSWER to your initial QUESTION, is 

OH HE** NO!!!

I would not take back an EX for any reason there could ever possibly be!! 
THAT WOULD JUST BE STUPID!

Anonymous · Answer

I don't think you should take her back.. give it some time your heart will heel in time. you don't need someone like that in your life. If you  take your back she will always walk over you as a door mat.

Trending News

Would you ever take your first love back after they left you twice for another person?

16 Answers