Awesome girlfriend, but boring in bed.?

So, I have this amazing girlfriend. Everything about her is great. She's got awesome friends, she's smart and ambitious, really pretty, etc.

However, something is just not there in the bedroom. It's not that she never wants to have sex... she requests it all the time, but while we're doing it, she doesn't seem 'that' into it. She never grabs my penis or anything (and I have told her explicitly that I like it when she does) and rarely gives me head (only on request). She also doesn't keep herself very well manicured (I do, and have requested that she do and I've told her that my oral would be much better if there was no hair down there).

I don't want to throw away an otherwise very awesome relationship, but I've tried talking to her and nothing seems to be working. How do I talk to her without crushing her self-confidence? Should I just move on?