Confucius: What has your Chinese fortune cookie said to you recently?

I had Chinese food for lunch yesterday with some co-workers. My fortune yesterday was a bit confusing and went something like this:

What makes you unique is what you do that other people do differently than you do.

p.s. and for the sake of my family traditions (in bed).

I hope this helps.

Confucius make joke :Who Wun Hung Lo? Confucius answer: Man with ripped jockstrap!

OK, here's the rules...after every fortune you have to add "in the bed."

My last fortune said..."Your present plans are going to succeed....in the bed."

Now THAT'S what I'm talking about baby.

Peace.

Man who walk through narrow hallway sideways Bangkok.

I got one written in messy red ink that said "help, I'm trapped in a fortune cookie factory".

I think my last one said I would experience good weather.

My favorite ever: You are a happy man. They took a 50/50 (ish) shot. They failed.

" Help I am being held prisoner and being forced to stick little pieces of paper with nonsense on them in cookies ".

The back said " and they taste like sh*t "

Wise man wears protection when sunbathing.

The price of stamps will climb ever higher.

I always get one that says:''Lose a turn'' or ''Dude,you chose the wrong cookie,for real''