Is it normal to say...?

Question

The 1st thing my mother-in-law said to me at the maternity after giving birth to my son was...?
"oh my he has such BIG hands". I was shocked. I am still shocked. Is it normal to say something like this in relation to a new born. I mean I would not say anything but how cute he is or something similar even if the baby was extremely ugly.
This has continued and every time I am over at my parent-in-law, which is not often anymore, there are comments about the size of my son's hand. Yesterday I had enough. I just said it is time to leave to my husband when their family started talking about it again. I mean I would not say to my sister-in-law's husband that "I am always so amazed when I see your nose - it it so big and red". This is what he said about my son's hands, skipping color red, at yesterday's dinner and my mother-in-law jumped in and confirmed that oh yes his hands are so big and she noticed immediately at the hospital. 
Am i being oversensitive? I think this is outrageous and not normal! I told my husband before that I do not accept this and now he is angry with me saying that it is a compliment to say that a baby has big hands. I never heard such bull all my life! What do you think.
I might as well add that my mother-in-law has immense hands for a woman and it is probably why she looks at hands in everybody else - no one except for my family-in-law has ever made a comment about my son's hands....I would never tell her though that you have huge hands for a woman - but then maybe I should!
I might as well add that my son is now 1 and a half years old and he will start understanding what people are saying and I am afraid of what these people are saying around him when I am not there. If he hears something many times enough he may believe it is true. 
My maternal instincts tell me they are wrong but am I right? I am feeling really insecure about all this at the moment. Especially since my husband does not support me - and never really has for that matter anyway...

ornella u · Accepted Answer

Well, you are a good mother for caring about child. and yes, I have to admit that what she said at the maternity after giving birth might not have sounded as an compliment for you. I understand why you have many questions and worries and why it did upset you. But as you have metioned that she has big hands, maybe for her, it is a way of giving a compliment or saying how the baby has something somilar with her. Have you talked to her about this?
You should talk to her about how you feel about this and why. Be honest with yourself and to her . Sometimes there are alot of miscommunication and interpretation between people so you need to clear things up for you and your son. As you said that your maternal instincts tells you that they are wrong. Maybe you should have a talk with her and see how it goes and also try to understand her point of view.
wish you best of luck.

blabby567 · Answer

i think that your-mother in law is being mean by discussing your sons hand size. But i also think your being over-sensitive. Quite frankly your both being immature. She obviously dosent like you and is trying to tell you this through your sons features. She probably knos it ticks you off and thats why she brings it up.As for your husband, you and him should have a chat. because he needs to realize that shes his mom, but your his wife. If he dies, you get the money not his big handed mother.

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Is it normal to say...?

2 Answers