Any other gals stuck with a guy who thinks he can be a jerk, just because he "Works Hard"? How do you deal?

Question

My hubby of six years has an outside job, while I stay at home and look after our 2-1/2 year old son.  i also keep the 2,250 square foot house clean, cook gourmet meals (used to be a chef), do the gardening, do the accounting for his business, pay bills, do home maintenance like plumbling, painting and furnace repair.  but when he gets home he just wants to know where his dinner is and then he leaves to go out with his friends.  I asked him to sit our son for two hours this weekend so I could get on the computer and file the GST, but he said he really wanted to clean up the yard and couldn't spare 90 minutes.  Then his buddy called, and he managed to find 6-1/2 hours to go out on his motorcycle!  Ok I'm venting, but I'm getting stepped on big time here and need advice on how to grow a backbone - seems I was away the day they handed out spines.  

Cheers all & thannks.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN!.... Sit hiss a#% down and tell him how you feel. If he's a good husband and loves you he'll understand. He needs to know when he crosses the line otherwise you'll be miserable. Marriage is a 50/50 thing. You put your work in so that means he has to put his part in too.

Jessica A · Answer

I am going to be butaly honest.

My sugestion would be. Consoling or divorce.

I am not in this situation but my best friends mother was. I used to go over there every day. Ontop of taking care of her two and a half year old son, the drama of a 16 year old daughter and a 1 year old boy(3kids) she was cleaing every second. She was always in a rush to have his dinner on the table. He was rude, could spare time for his friends and came home. If his dinner wasn't made he was angry. If the house wasn't spotless he was angry. If he had to deal with any problems out side of work he was angry. The point of being in love is some finally the happieness is soposed to outweight the sad.If it doesn't then somethings wong. Let me guess he's mad if dinner isn't made? The house has to be totally cleam.Laudry must be done. The food he likes must be bought. And he thinks his job is sooo hard and yours is easy so if you complain he gets angry because to him you have it easy. Girl you diserve better and it's hard to hear this because you have a marriage, house and KID to deal with. But something needs to change. And sadly for most people I tell this to it doesn't. But in my eyes. Exspecialy when your married. I feel every women diserves her happily ever after. Everything should be equal. I was just so happy when I came home from my friends house to see my dad cooking dinner while my mom was folding laudry. Always made me a little more thankful.

ryan · Answer

Well miss, I don't know if I can help you because I'm not married and 19 of age. So yea, but ill will try and tell you what I think so listen. Yes your gettin steeped on, and to me its your fault because you been with him for six years and you haven't done anything about it. You just keep lettin him step all over you. Well this is what u shud do for ex.... If I was a female been married for 6 and a mother and been steped on like this all the time I'd man up hit him or leave him. I dnt kno, ok bad ex. Sorry but the thing is its not about you, its your kids they need the father to be around more active. The.stuff that u wrote to me it seems like your the more of a man than him. U clean cook fix things raise the kids, bills, repairs. Did u think of that I bet u didn't.  So this is what u need to do.. Talk to him about if he doesn't listen or change than u dnt need him. Divorce hom take the kids n money haha. Na but I think what u shud to to make him realize is stop doin everythin u do. Another words stop cleanin makin him dinner and all.sex.. Untill he changes, well I hope I helped. Let me know.

Anonymous · Answer

Men are know to get an out of proportion ego size just because they have a good job or got a promotion. 
Some men will get a mistress just to mach his fancy sports car. 
what you need to do is make him choose if he wants you or his fun. 
Remind hin that it is you he finds in bed and plays with and not his buddies.

October · Answer

Yell at him, at the beginning of the conversation, not in front of the kids, have them play in the yard or something so they cant hear.
Nothing to dramatic or angry, no one wants a divorce here if I am correct.
But men hate it when we yell at them, put him on your level, hold out on sex, cry a little bit(make him see how hes made you feel), no one deserves to be treated like that.

? · Answer

Depends what kind of quiet really. If by quiet you just mean shy and so just not crazy then thats cool, but if you mean quiet as in will never speak to you, or give monosyllabic answers to any question, thats less cool :)

Lepricon · Answer

its his responsiblity. just talk to him. I mean you dont want to yell but if he dosen't spent time with his son the boy might grow up hating his dad for never spending time with him. Plus its the weekend who dosen't have time. Maybe you sould go on a vacation and spend time together. if he says he dosen't have time well arrange things MAKE time.

muskettcat · Answer

I agree with DesolationRow .  Already not interested but this has put me off marriage more!

desolationrow690 · Answer

hmmm...this is why i dont wanna get married.

talk to him about it?

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Any other gals stuck with a guy who thinks he can be a jerk, just because he "Works Hard"? How do you deal?

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