My husband and I were married 20 years. We separated last fall and ?

he doesnt want to be alone. that is how guys cope. they are different from women.

go to the bookstore and look for titles like 'what women dont know about men' and ' how to succeed with men' and ' what men really want' things like that. there is a lot to learn that will help you cope.

i read your other questions, and, you are a delightful, charming, intelligent, sincere, funny, ironic sweetheart.

good luck to you.

It seems that by making the separation with your then husband, he realized that the relationship with you wasn't worth saving, so he moved on by finding a girlfriend.

I would personally feel the same way as you do, a bit angry and hurt, that our relationship didn't mean anything to him. However, I learned a very good piece of advice from an ex when we were breaking up. He said, "don't you want to remember the good times that we had?"

At the time I thought no, I wanted to win him back and resolve the feeling inside that was causing the hurt and anger. I thought that winning him back would be the resolution, but eventually, I distanced myself from him and he moved onto another relationship.

He had a good point though. Just because your husband doesn't want to reminisce over your relationship, because you aren't together, doesn't mean that he doesn't think of you or remember your marriage.

He is making a clean break by moving onto another relationship. It is hard for you to witness this because maybe apart of you wished that he had wanted to make the marriage work, or that he had waiting to find a new girlfriend, but somethings don't work out the way we want them too.

I would say try to accept the new found freedom that life has to offer, go on some dates and find a man that appreciates what you have to offer in companionship, friendship or a relationship. Believe me, there are lots of them out there.

Lots of good luck and best wishes.

You know I am sure your relationship did mean a lot to him but some guys are stupid and they think they do the best things, which they end up regretting it in the long run. For him to date someone about 2 months is and then move in with her, you have to realize something like that will not work. It never does. I know it's hard for you but look at the bright side of things, hang out with friends, and try not to think about him (easier said than done, I know). Sooner or later he will be finding out he did not do the right thing in moving in with someone so soon. I would not worry about him right now, seriously. Do your own things, look another way, not his. I am sure everything will work out and sooner or later you will find someone you are meant to be with and you will not make the same mistake as him.

well obviously it never meant anything to him or you would still be together, it is hard to move on from someone who you have truely loved, especially when they immediately move on to someone new. My guess is that his state of mind is not good, and he is just playing those games to hurt you, because obviously he knows it does. If I were you, I would just move on, the past is the past, and you deserve to be happy, everyone does. Maybe you should start casual dating again, find someone who you actually have things in common with, and make new friends. Enjoy life, dont sit around moaping about some dead beat who cannot make you truely happy, or that doesnt want you in his life. Life is to short to regret all the bad relationships we've had, life should be fun, exciting, enjoyable, I m sure that there are plenty of real men that can make you happy out there.

If he'd only known her for a month and then moved her in then I would say she is a rebound relationship he's using to distract him from what he left behind.I don't think it's so personal towards you.He's just moving on and that's how he's going about it.People come and go in our lives.That's just reality.Yes,it hurts when we lose someone we love but we all have to walk down that road numerous times in life.You'll be okay just give it time.I also walked away from a 20yr.relationship.I am remarried(2yrs.now)and am very happy with my new life.I hope the same for you.I hope you find love again and see that there is someone out there looking for someone just like you.Don't live in the past.It's very detrimental to do that.Look forward.

Did you want him to spend several years in regret and mourning? It sounds like he took on a rebound relationship to help himself cope. Why would you think that your time with him didn't mean anything just because he needed someone in his life? You should seek counseling to help you deal with those bitter feelings, otherwise, you will never be able to move forward with your life.

Wow that makes my heart sore just thinking about it. I would say that you just take your time and start exploring options of meeting people and start going out with friends and doing things you normally wouldn't have done. Excite your life and move on. I couldn't imagine how sick this would make me feel. Good Luck!

You have to much spare time on your hands. Spare time allows your mind to wander and that appears to lead to your hurt and anger. Get involved with a group or friends, you will soon find yourself laughing again and it will feel good. And when you laugh, it will attract others to you and they will want to spend time with you. So get out of the mode that your in, and expose yourself to others and have fun. Good luck.

Some questions:

Have you examined what led to the demise of your marriage?

Did he know her before the separation either platonically or romantically?

Did you feel there should have been waiting period before dating again?

It may be that he has moved on and you haven't. Perhaps you should before your feelings become debilitating.

you don't know it didn't mean anything, he would not have been there for 20 yrs, your feeling low and depressed , I see your hurt, being bitter will eat you alive and show on your face , dust yourself off and reinvent yourself, get your hair changed get a make over feel good about you, see the difference, try to be positive.