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Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 1 decade ago

Am I over reacting; would love men and womans point of view?

Last week we found out the little boy that my son has been playing with has a major issue. He was raped when he was younger, due to this he (he is 12 years old now) was trying to convience my 8 year old and his 6 year old cousin to drop their pants and was talking to them about sex.

This was discovered when my husband went over to see what they were doing behind the trees. My husband being the coward he is didn't do anything but came in and told me. I was naturally ticked he left the kids out there and did not make his presence known.

I decied it was better if the 12 year old didn't come over anymore. NOW my husband keeps talking to the kid and trying to convince me to allow the child to come over to play and I just went outside and he is allowing the child to help him in the garden.

Now I understand the child doesn't really have any parents and is hurting a great deal. It is not that I don't feel bad for him and it does break my heart for the child. BUT it is my job to protect my son not to try to fix another child!

And my husband seems to have no smpathy or even care about what the child did just that he is hurt! He hasn't even said one word to OUR son about it. That has had no interest in him.

My son told me he felt better knowing the 12 year old wasn't coming over anymore and that this incident wasn't the first time!

Can anyone understand why I'm so hurt and angry with my coward of a husband?

Am I overreacting?

Update:

I had not known about these issues with him but I was aware as all of our neighboors are that the 12 year is slow and he does respond and act more like a 9 or maybe 10 year old. And since my son is using to playing with 9 year olds we weren't worried about the age difference. Or normally I would agree he would be better with someone his own age.

8 Answers

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  • Crash
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I'm sorry but I have to side with you on this one! We can't watch over our kids 24/7 but since your kids don't want him coming anyways then you need to support your kids and back then up! I feel that it's important for your kids to feel free to come to you for anything, silly or otherwise and by supporting them you gain TRUST.

  • Unknown Girl
    1 decade ago

    I see both sides. However, I would say you are NOT over reacting in any way. You have every right to care about the protection of your son before any one else's child. But Maybe your husband just feels so bad that he cant do anything else except try to care for him. Wish you both the best.

  • januckey
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    I understand what you're saying completely. While it is sad that the child was exposed to such a horrendous situation, you also have to think of protecting your child. Why the hell is your husband ok with some kid coming over that clearly could have damaged YOUR child? Your husband sounds like a pussy. You're not over-reacting. I think you were right to stop the child from coming over.

  • ?
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    I'm sorry you're having to deal with this at all. I'm sorry for that other child. But I agree with you 100%. My child comes first.

    Your husband is being calm about the whole thing and you should probably be grateful that he didn't react strongly and half-kill the kid. But he is over the line to expect the friendship to continue.

    You need to call the state and inform them of what occurred, I'm sorry to tell you. That boy needs serious professional help because he is on his way to becoming a rapist himself.

    Source(s): BTW: I think a 6 year old and probably an 8 year old need playmates closer to their own age, regardless. 12 year olds are in middle school and exposed to 14 year olds on a daily basis.
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  • ?
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    I don't understand. If your son doesn't even want to play with him, why is there a need for him to come over?

    I would explain to your son about sex (at least as much as you're willing to) and explain that what the kid did was wrong.

    As far as your husband is concerned, I guess talk to him about it. If the kid comes over and wants to play, just tell him sorry but you need to go home. You don't have to be mean about it. You gotta do what you gotta do.

  • JP
    1 decade ago

    Your not overreacting, I would make sure that your son knows to just walk away from this kid if he tries to abuse him again. Maybe your husband was abused and he's tring to help this kid.

  • Poppy
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    You are toward your husband. You're assuming everyone has the necessary skills to handle this sort of situation. They don't. Cut him a little slack dear.

  • daisymayNY
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    no youre not overreacting . i would not allow my children around this child.,

    i would also speak to the parents and school and let them know

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