I need to calm down about this what do you think?

Your ex husband might try and arrange so that your daughter and his girl-friend could meet. It is not right of him to not try and allow them to see each other, to not try and see if there can be created any compatibility between his girl-friend and his your daughter.

Your daughter loves her own father and she so ardently loves you and it is quite natural, even though very primitive of her to be jealous, of her to be exclusive, and perhaps even hateful, and to not like any intruders in her life with mother and father even if you and him no longer can be together.

You might try and calmly lovingly teach your daughter that now you must have a life of your own, and that daddy has a life of his own, where other people, other love, perhaps a new companion, and perhaps other or new children, might have to be allowed their loving place.

Your ex husband's girl-friend may have done something impulsive in sending your daughter a plant. A plant that was meant as a present, perhaps an awkward attempt at gaining acceptance from your daughter, from the daughter to the man that she loves.

Perhaps your ex husband's girl friend has clearly frettingly perceived that your daughter does not like her, but anyway and thus sort of irrationally has made that gesture of sending that present to your daughter.

If you still are dreaming of your ex husband somehow getting back to you, you will not want any other woman being connected to him, and thus of course you will never want any whatsoever things from a rival to be present in you own home.

It would be great if you could take all this with a calm friendly smile.

She's trying to find an "in" with the boyfriend (dad). What better way to do that than to make pals with the daughter? In other words, she's "schmoozing". If your daughter doesn't want it I suggest you give it to a lonely neighbor who could use a lift. Since your daughter does not know this person she is under no obligation to keep it. Better educate her on the ways of women! Good luck!

C.B.

It's not about what you like, it's teaching your daughter the respectful way to act. We have enough jerks out there already without adding to the herd. By teaching her a respectful manner in which to handle this you might also learn from the experience. So what if she's where you once were, would you like to trade places with her once more? We can't let anger be our motivator, we have to find better ways for an outlet than running other people down. That says more about us than it does about them.

When a marriage ends it does not necessarily create an eternal war. If you want to have a normal life, teach your daughter to be kind with her father's girlfriend or (in future) new wife. It will be much better for her and for you.

that was very rude of the gf