Girlfriend breaks up with me suddenly? Things were wonderful between us.?

Question

Ok so here is the deal.  I had been dating this wonderful girl for about 3 months now.  Things have been amazing, I mean everything we did together felt so right, it felt like fate almost had something to do with our relationship.  She brokeup with her boyfriend halfway through January because he cheated on her, not once but twice, I felt so bad for her that I started to talk to her and and make sure that she knew it was not her fault or anything.  After talking to her for a week we were becoming good friends, and I eventually asked her out on a date.  We shared so much in common and by some chance I got to be her valentine.  From there on things were nothing short of amazing.  We got inthe odd argument but nothing real serious.  I felt very protective of her, I didn't want anything bad to happen to her obviously.  Our relationship was one of a kind, so chill and relaxing, so fun and full of compassion for each other.  I thought everything was going so well and on my birthday on the 9th of April we had the most amazing day together.  She then took the weekend off to spend at her friends cabin, and when she returned we arranged to do something that Tuesday.  I went to her house and picked her up to get coffee. She seemed quite so I asked her what was wrong. She just said she felt different about our relationship a bit and just everything else going on in her life.  I kept on asking her to be more specific and she said she feels a bit different about me.   Not providing me with answers I asked her what she wanted to do, take a break, breakup, I just wanted to know what was going on.  She ended breaking up with me without giving me a legitimate reason, so I rush home so shocked and confused and basically cried to sleep that night feeling sick to my stomach.  The next day I found her in the hall and asked her if we could talk.  She told me that she still really cares about me and still likes me a lot and how it's not me, but she needs time and space to think about things.  I told her that i care about her and respect her enough that i would give all the spaCe she needs.  She said she wondered if she made one of the worst mistakes of her life.  I went home feeling relieved somewhat that day.  The next day apparantly one of her friends make up some rumour that there was someone else.  She came up to me and told how she was so sorry and how it was not true at all.  I said I know that and I trust you, that you wouldn't do that to me. I told her I already knew that and how she said she needed space, then why is she talking to me? I never said it in a rude manner at all.  Now today I found out that she said the reason she broke up with me was because she was scared of falling in love with me or getting to attached to me.  She had a relationship where she loved this so much and suddenly he left her.  She was hurt so bad and I she fears that that would happen again. Not to boast or make me sound like the perfect guy but I have treated her like a princess the whole time of our relationship, and I would never intentionally hurt her like her past boyfriends did.  I have givin her a relationship that she has never had before.  She is so amazing an I do believe I am falling in love with this girl.  She has told me she loves me many times but I'm not sure if she meant it or if she didn't mean to say it.  I just don't know what to do now because i have not talked to her since she confronted 2 days ago.  Please if anyone could help me, I would appreciate it so much.  This is the first time I think I am falling in love.  I haven't eaten barely anything in 5 days, I have felt sick to my stomach all the time.  I don't know what to do.  Please someone help.. And I apologize for the really long situation.

Kristi K · Accepted Answer

You seem genuine but everything that she has said are all excuses. I have used them all back in my day. Especially the space one. That is a definite excuse no matter who says it. It really could be her friends telling her what to do if she seems uneasy about her decision. A lot of the times a girl's friend will convince her something she truly dose not feel because she may trust the friend when if fact the friend could have a devious plot. You can really never tell with younger girls. I can tell you in high school I let go so really good guys, I mean great guys but I was a *****. Work through it a little bit. There is probably nothing you can do right now to change her mind. Give her some time and get her alone. If she still gives you excuses, then it is over for now. You never know though, she might be ready to restart things with you.

Beethoven&#39;s-soulmate · Answer

awww! well i'm not going to say the awful thing of 'move on' which some people say. Your essay was so long, but when you really feel strongly about something its easy to just write what you think, which ends up being really long!
Anyway she likes/loves you. You feel the same way. That's the biggest hurdle out of the way. Just show you're willing to fight for it!

You've given her space, so that's really understanding of you. In the mean time you have to remind her that you're there for her, and you won't give up. That sort of commitment will re-assure her. Just do that by texting her (not too much!) and asking her how she is. If she replies and seems like she wants to talk, call her. Maybe physical confrontation might be too much at the moment, but just small things will make a huge difference. When she's ready to meet up with you then its fine, but don't push her. She seems quite fragile at the moment. 
You sound very like a very patient and understanding person, so you know that how she feels is so normal because of how she was treated by her ex-boyfriend. Just take things slowly, and don't do anything rash. If she really has genuine feelings for you everything will fall into place. Even though it doesn't seem like it, she needs you more than anything, to make her feel wanted. Show her she can trust you.

Good luck :)

Nikkie · Answer

OK first of all how old are you guys, because it sounds like high school drama to me. And if you are not in high shool, then she sounds like maybe she isnt ready for the kind of relationship that you want. Believe me i know that you think that its the end of the world but trust me its not. Another girl will come along and sweep you off your feet just like she did. And if you and this girl are meant to be EVERYTHING will work out!!! Trust me

Anonymous · Answer

Let her confront you. Your best bet is to let her get through her problems and you can be there (as a friend) to help and if by any means, she decides to take an action that definitely tells you she wants you... then okay. Otherwise, let her go. Based on the fact that shes been hurt by other guys says she may need time to get organized.

Kelz · Answer

ok...i read it all.  Im so sorry because i really don't know what to say because it sounds like you did everything right.  Give her the time and see what happens, coming out of a relationship then back into one that seems so perfect maybe to her felt to perfect and she got scared... i know this must be really hard on you but please look after yourself and give it some time...if its meant to be its meant to be right??

$LOSE · Answer

from what i read, i can tell that she really wants to be with you but is afraid to do so. when there was a rumour, she went up and told you that is was not true. she cares about your thoughts of her and stuffs.

i suggest try not to get the answer out from her yet. just tell her that when she's ready to give the answer, you'll be there.
the answer she gave you doesnt seem like the real answer, btw.

take care. you should eat something.

Anonymous · Answer

Seems to me like she has an issue with trust. With any man she holds dear she has a constant fear of loss. You need to try to prove to her that she means the world to you and you wouldn't ever leave. Or, you need to encourage her to deal with her past problem maybe with a counsellor. It may help her deal with the problem and move on in a wonderful relationship with you.

Jimmy Dean · Answer

next time make the situation shorter

swish for two points

mylittlemargie · Answer

She has someone else.  Find somebody else.  Are you in high school?  Just asking.

Anonymous · Answer

she is afraid of falling in love with a whimp! and a boring one at that

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Girlfriend breaks up with me suddenly? Things were wonderful between us.?

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