What is a soul mate vs. a lover?

you don't marry your girlfriend (for a girl) just because you have good connection.

you also don't marry your lover just because of sex.

you should marry someone, based on ability to make a good long term partner:

- treating you right and being attentive to your needs.

- have good communication so that minor disagreements don't turn into a fight.

- you should love him. really love him. that is - want to make him happy in every way you can. so should he - the more you give him, the better relationship you will have

if you have all - you will have real shot of happiness. you will take pride in your marriage.

but in the end of the day, if you are forced to choose between a man you are deeply connected to, but don't desire,

and a man you desire, but have little in common with:

go for soul mate.

if you have good communication, then your love can grow, or you can have quite suburban life. no excitement but fulfilling.

but if your relationship is based on lust, inevitably it will turn into hate and expensive divorce.

A lover is typically just physical. There is more to live than physical pleasure. To understand and develop "true love", it needs to be on a spiritual and emotional level. This kind of love is selfless and is much deeper and more fulfilling. A soulmate is someone who you connect with on a spiritual level. This is "true love" and it does not matter what someone looks like. This kind of love lasts forever.

You want to marry a soulmate but unfortunately most people marry lovers. This is why the divorce rate is so high. Physical attraction feelings diminish for everyone after a couple years.