My cousin lost her husband to cancer on Dec. 24th 2008 and started seeing a guy 2 months later?

It depends on the type of person she is.

She may be strong, and I have a friend who is similar, if she is single for a long time it may be harder for her to get over the trauma, but if she finds someone quickly she can get it off her mind and be happier.

She may still be unhappy inside, but she can't spend her whole life still waiting for another special man to come, she needs to find one to help her get over grieving.

Its nice that you are concerned and worried about your cousin, you are caring and scared for her, that's ok, just give her some time to be free and do what she likes. If seeing this guy makes her happy, you should be happy. Yes, her husband may have died recently, but she needs to get over the sadness, people have different ways of getting over situations like this, there are some that won't see a guy for years, and the ones like your cousin who get another guy quite fast.

If you are really worried, talk to her. People have different grieving times and periods.

It comes on people in different ways some just dont grieve some grieve for a long period of time and some for a short6 time it depends on the person you might find as time goes on she'll start to grieve more and more.

people grieve at different rates. Some people take years to get over the loss of a spouse. Maybe this IS her way of grieving and she's not thinking right.

i don't think you can define on a time, some people are so lonely after the loss of a spouse they go out and marry the first person they meet, others like my mom who lost my dad in a car accident never remarried or had a serious date again and that was 35 years ago, and most early relationships fail because they are so lonesome they cant make a good decision

The grieving period is for her benefit.

And it isn't like a cancer death is a sudden thing. The stages of grief can begin earlier with a death like that, and so the grieving can finish sooner too. (It would be different if he'd died unexpectedly on Dec 24th)

I lost my dad 5 years ago, and my mom started dating about 2 years after. They were married for 35 years tho. I think its up to the individual. Your cousin may be one of those people who just cannot be alone. If she is actually actively looking to marry again, I think that would be a mistake. But if she is just dating around, testing out the waters, that might just be how she is going to have to grieve. Different people handle death differently. There also may have been deeper issues that you weren't aware of. As long as she is safe, its her life, you kind of have to let her do what she wants to do.

I would say that different people grieve in different forms. She may be reaching out for affection from a man to fill a void that has just formed in her life. She may just want to move on or it could have been her husband's wish for her to move on. Whatever the reason, her family should be supportive of her unless she begins doing something destructive to herself or other.

Sorry if this sounds rude, but Who cares what everyone else thinks? This is her life, not ours.

You can't dictate to someone how to grieve or how long to grieve. There is not "Right" or "Wrong" way to grieve the loss of a loved one.

Furthermore, perhaps she and her husband discussed this at the onset of his disease, and he urged her to get on with her life. This is a private matter.

Until you've walked in her shoes, you have no business judging her.

as a rule you shouldn't make any life changing decisions after the death of a spouse for at least a year. but deciding to see someone isn't really a life changing decision. It does seem awfully quick to me but people grieve differently. Maybe she just needs someone to be with for a while so she doesn't feel so lonely.

Your cousin probably was grieving a long time before her husband died. There ARE no rules set in stone about grieving. It's not like his death was sudden and tragic.